From 9d7f0754ff9db1645635647f4acd63aa38c173c5 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Olivier Gayot Date: Mon, 8 Jun 2015 03:39:43 +0100 Subject: server: multilingual/french support moved the card files in a per-language directory as follows. * $LANG/cards/white * $LANG/cards/black Signed-off-by: Olivier Gayot --- CAO_Cards.py | 8 +- black_cards | 163 ----------- lang/en/cards/black | 163 +++++++++++ lang/en/cards/white | 828 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ lang/fr/cards/black | 60 ++++ lang/fr/cards/white | 396 +++++++++++++++++++++++++ white_cards | 828 ---------------------------------------------------- 7 files changed, 1451 insertions(+), 995 deletions(-) delete mode 100644 black_cards create mode 100644 lang/en/cards/black create mode 100644 lang/en/cards/white create mode 100644 lang/fr/cards/black create mode 100644 lang/fr/cards/white delete mode 100644 white_cards diff --git a/CAO_Cards.py b/CAO_Cards.py index 615c685..537abe7 100644 --- a/CAO_Cards.py +++ b/CAO_Cards.py @@ -1,13 +1,13 @@ class CAO_Cards(): @staticmethod - def get_white_cards(): + def get_white_cards(lang='en'): ''' Read the file containing the white cards and return a list of cards ''' - with open('white_cards') as fd: + with open('lang/' + lang + '/cards/white') as fd: return [line.strip() for line in fd] @staticmethod - def get_black_cards(): + def get_black_cards(lang='en'): ''' Read the file containing the black cards and return a list of cards ''' - with open('black_cards') as fd: + with open('lang/' + lang + '/cards/black') as fd: return [line.strip() for line in fd] diff --git a/black_cards b/black_cards deleted file mode 100644 index 9519bb7..0000000 --- a/black_cards +++ /dev/null @@ -1,163 +0,0 @@ -2 AM in the city that never sleeps. The door swings open and walks in, legs up to here. Something in her eyes tells me she's looking for ______. -After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought _____ to the people of Haiti. -Alright, bros. Our frat house is condemned, and all the hot slampieces are over at Gamma Phi. The time has come to commence Operation _____. -Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of _____. -And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for _____! -And today's soup is Cream of _____. -And what did you bring for show and tell? -A recent laboratory study shows that undergraduates have 50% less sex after being exposed to _____. -A remarkable new study has shown that chimps have evolved their own primitive version of _____. -Armani suit: $1,000. Dinner for two at a swanky restaurant: $300. The look on her face when you surprise her with _____, priceless. -A romantic candlelit dinner would be incomplete without _____. -As king, how will I keep the peasant's in line? -As part of his contract, Prince won't perform without ______ in his dressing room. -As part of his daily regimen, Anderson Cooper sets aside 15 minutes for _____. -A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with _____. -_____. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice. -Before I run for president, I must destroy all evidence of my involvement with _____. -_____. Betcha can't have just one! -But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you _____. -Call the law offices of Goldstein & Goldstein, because no one should have to tolerate _____ in the workplace. -Charades was ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out _____. -Coming to Broadway this season, _____: The Musical. -Daddy, why is mommy crying? -Dear Abby, I'm having some trouble with _____ and would like your advice. -Dear Leader Kim Jong-un, our village praises your infinite wisdom with a humble offering of _____. -Do NOT fuck with me! I am literally _____ right now. -Don't forget! Beginning this week, Casual Friday will officially become "_____ Friday." -Do the Dew with our most extreme flavor yet! Get ready for Mountain Dew _____! -Do you lack energy? Does it sometimes feel like the whole world is _____? Zoloft. -During high school, I never really fit in until I found _____ club. -During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into _____. -During sex, I like to think about _____. -Finally! A service that delivers _____ right to your door. -Fun tip! When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with _____ instead. -Get ready for the movie of the summer! One cop plays by the book. The other's only interested in one thing: _____. -_____: good to the last drop. -Having the worst day EVER. #_____ -Help me doctor, I've got _____ in my butt! -Here at the Academy for Gifted Children, we allow students to explore _____ at their own pace. -Here is the church. Here is the steeple. Open the doors and there is _____. -Hey baby, come back to my place and I'll show you _____. -_____. High five, bro. -Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into _____, and I love to have a good time. -Hi, this Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled "_____." Can you explain? -How am I compensating for my tiny penis? -How am I maintaining my relationship status? -How did I lose my virginity? -I do not know with what weapons World War III will be be fought, but World War IV will be fought with _____. -I don't mean to brag, but they call me the Michael Jordan of _____. -I drink to forget _____. -I get by with a little help from _____. -I got 99 problems but _____ ain't one. -I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with _____. -I'm not like the rest of you, I'm too rich and busy for _____. -I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by _____. -I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _____. -I'm sorry sir, but we don't allow _____ at the country club. -In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services? -In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of _____. -In his new action comedy, Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with _____. -In his newest and most difficult stunt, David Blaine must escape from _____. -In his new self-produced album, Kanye West raps over the sounds of _____. -In its new tourism campaign, Detroit proudly proclaims that it has finally eliminated _____. -In L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for _____. -In Rome, there are whisperings that the Vatican has a secret room devoted to _____. -Instead of coal, Santa now gives bad children _____. -In the distant future, historians will agree that _____ marked the beginning of America's decline. -In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with _____ for the first time. -In the seventh circle of Hell, sinners must endure _____ for all of eternity. -Introducing Xtreme Baseball! It's like baseball, but with ____! -It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from _____. -It's a pity that kids these days are all involved with _____. -____. It's a trap! -_____: kid-tested, mother-approved. -Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to _____. -Life's pretty tough in the fast lane. That's why I never leave the house without _____. -Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and _____. -Loving' you is easy 'cause you're _____. -Man, this is bullshit. Fuck _____. -Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's _____. -Members of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience _____. -Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me _____. -MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with _____. -My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of _____. -My gym teacher got fired for adding _____ to the obstacle course. -My new favorite porn star is Joey "_____" McGee. -My plan for world domination begins with _____. -Next from J.K Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of _____. -Next on ESPN2, the World Series of _____. -Next time on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about _____. -Now in bookstores: "The Audacity of _____," by Barack Obama -Only two things in life are certain: death and _____. -Science will never explain _____. -She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for _____. -_____. That's how I want to die. -The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in _____. -The CIA now interrogates enemy agents by repeatedly subjecting them to _____. -The class field trip was completely ruined by _____. -The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, _____, acceptance. -The healing process began when I joined a support group for victims of _____. -The Japanese have developed a smaller, more efficient version of _____. -The new Chevy Tahoe. With the power and space to take _____ everywhere you go. -The secret to a lasting marriage is communication, communication, and _____. -The Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has just opened an interactive exhibit on _____. -The socialist governments of Scandinavia have declared that access to _____ is a basic human right. -This is the prime of my life. I'm young, hot, and full of _____. -This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with _____. -This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for _____. -This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing _____ into the bedroom." -Today on Maury: "Help! My son is _____!" -Tonight on 20/20: What you don't know about _____ could kill you. -To prepare for his upcoming role, Daniel Day-Lewis immersed himself in the world of _____. -TSA guidelines now prohibit _____ on airplanes. -Turns out that _____-Man was neither the hero we needed nor wanted. -War! What is it good for? -Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principals office for _____. -Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precious child coming to terms with _____. -What am I giving up for Lent? -What are my parents hiding from me? -What brought the orgy to a grinding halt? -What did I bring back from mexico? -What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan? -What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner? -What don't you want to find in your Kung Pao chicken? -What ended my last relationship? -What gets better with age? -What gives me uncontrollable gas? -What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony? -What helps Obama unwind? -What is Batman's guilty pleasure? -What killed my boner? -What left this stain on my couch? -What never fails to liven up the party? -What's a girl's best friend? -What's fun until it gets weird? -What's George W. Bush thinking about right now? -What's making things awkward in the sauna? -What's my anti-drug? -What's my secret power? -What's Teach for America using to inspire inner city students to succeed? -What's that smell? -What's that sound? -What's the gift that keeps on giving? -What's the most emo? -What's the new fad diet? -What's the next happy meal toy? -What's there a ton of in heaven? -What will always get you laid? -What will I bring back in time to convince people that I am a powerful wizard? -What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? -When all else fails, I can always masturbate to _____. -When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate _____. -When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of _____. -When I pooped, what came out of my butt? -When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a Plague of _____. -White people like _____. -WHOOO! God Damn I love _____! -Why am I broke? -Why am I sticky? -Why can't I sleep at night? -Why do I hurt all over? -Yo' mama so fat she _____! -Your persistence is admirable, my dear Prince. But you cannot win my heart with _____ alone. diff --git a/lang/en/cards/black b/lang/en/cards/black new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9519bb7 --- /dev/null +++ b/lang/en/cards/black @@ -0,0 +1,163 @@ +2 AM in the city that never sleeps. The door swings open and walks in, legs up to here. Something in her eyes tells me she's looking for ______. +After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought _____ to the people of Haiti. +Alright, bros. Our frat house is condemned, and all the hot slampieces are over at Gamma Phi. The time has come to commence Operation _____. +Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of _____. +And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for _____! +And today's soup is Cream of _____. +And what did you bring for show and tell? +A recent laboratory study shows that undergraduates have 50% less sex after being exposed to _____. +A remarkable new study has shown that chimps have evolved their own primitive version of _____. +Armani suit: $1,000. Dinner for two at a swanky restaurant: $300. The look on her face when you surprise her with _____, priceless. +A romantic candlelit dinner would be incomplete without _____. +As king, how will I keep the peasant's in line? +As part of his contract, Prince won't perform without ______ in his dressing room. +As part of his daily regimen, Anderson Cooper sets aside 15 minutes for _____. +A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with _____. +_____. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice. +Before I run for president, I must destroy all evidence of my involvement with _____. +_____. Betcha can't have just one! +But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you _____. +Call the law offices of Goldstein & Goldstein, because no one should have to tolerate _____ in the workplace. +Charades was ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out _____. +Coming to Broadway this season, _____: The Musical. +Daddy, why is mommy crying? +Dear Abby, I'm having some trouble with _____ and would like your advice. +Dear Leader Kim Jong-un, our village praises your infinite wisdom with a humble offering of _____. +Do NOT fuck with me! I am literally _____ right now. +Don't forget! Beginning this week, Casual Friday will officially become "_____ Friday." +Do the Dew with our most extreme flavor yet! Get ready for Mountain Dew _____! +Do you lack energy? Does it sometimes feel like the whole world is _____? Zoloft. +During high school, I never really fit in until I found _____ club. +During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into _____. +During sex, I like to think about _____. +Finally! A service that delivers _____ right to your door. +Fun tip! When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with _____ instead. +Get ready for the movie of the summer! One cop plays by the book. The other's only interested in one thing: _____. +_____: good to the last drop. +Having the worst day EVER. #_____ +Help me doctor, I've got _____ in my butt! +Here at the Academy for Gifted Children, we allow students to explore _____ at their own pace. +Here is the church. Here is the steeple. Open the doors and there is _____. +Hey baby, come back to my place and I'll show you _____. +_____. High five, bro. +Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into _____, and I love to have a good time. +Hi, this Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled "_____." Can you explain? +How am I compensating for my tiny penis? +How am I maintaining my relationship status? +How did I lose my virginity? +I do not know with what weapons World War III will be be fought, but World War IV will be fought with _____. +I don't mean to brag, but they call me the Michael Jordan of _____. +I drink to forget _____. +I get by with a little help from _____. +I got 99 problems but _____ ain't one. +I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with _____. +I'm not like the rest of you, I'm too rich and busy for _____. +I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by _____. +I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _____. +I'm sorry sir, but we don't allow _____ at the country club. +In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services? +In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of _____. +In his new action comedy, Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with _____. +In his newest and most difficult stunt, David Blaine must escape from _____. +In his new self-produced album, Kanye West raps over the sounds of _____. +In its new tourism campaign, Detroit proudly proclaims that it has finally eliminated _____. +In L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for _____. +In Rome, there are whisperings that the Vatican has a secret room devoted to _____. +Instead of coal, Santa now gives bad children _____. +In the distant future, historians will agree that _____ marked the beginning of America's decline. +In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with _____ for the first time. +In the seventh circle of Hell, sinners must endure _____ for all of eternity. +Introducing Xtreme Baseball! It's like baseball, but with ____! +It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from _____. +It's a pity that kids these days are all involved with _____. +____. It's a trap! +_____: kid-tested, mother-approved. +Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to _____. +Life's pretty tough in the fast lane. That's why I never leave the house without _____. +Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and _____. +Loving' you is easy 'cause you're _____. +Man, this is bullshit. Fuck _____. +Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's _____. +Members of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience _____. +Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me _____. +MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with _____. +My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of _____. +My gym teacher got fired for adding _____ to the obstacle course. +My new favorite porn star is Joey "_____" McGee. +My plan for world domination begins with _____. +Next from J.K Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of _____. +Next on ESPN2, the World Series of _____. +Next time on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about _____. +Now in bookstores: "The Audacity of _____," by Barack Obama +Only two things in life are certain: death and _____. +Science will never explain _____. +She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for _____. +_____. That's how I want to die. +The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in _____. +The CIA now interrogates enemy agents by repeatedly subjecting them to _____. +The class field trip was completely ruined by _____. +The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, _____, acceptance. +The healing process began when I joined a support group for victims of _____. +The Japanese have developed a smaller, more efficient version of _____. +The new Chevy Tahoe. With the power and space to take _____ everywhere you go. +The secret to a lasting marriage is communication, communication, and _____. +The Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has just opened an interactive exhibit on _____. +The socialist governments of Scandinavia have declared that access to _____ is a basic human right. +This is the prime of my life. I'm young, hot, and full of _____. +This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with _____. +This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for _____. +This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing _____ into the bedroom." +Today on Maury: "Help! My son is _____!" +Tonight on 20/20: What you don't know about _____ could kill you. +To prepare for his upcoming role, Daniel Day-Lewis immersed himself in the world of _____. +TSA guidelines now prohibit _____ on airplanes. +Turns out that _____-Man was neither the hero we needed nor wanted. +War! What is it good for? +Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principals office for _____. +Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precious child coming to terms with _____. +What am I giving up for Lent? +What are my parents hiding from me? +What brought the orgy to a grinding halt? +What did I bring back from mexico? +What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan? +What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner? +What don't you want to find in your Kung Pao chicken? +What ended my last relationship? +What gets better with age? +What gives me uncontrollable gas? +What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony? +What helps Obama unwind? +What is Batman's guilty pleasure? +What killed my boner? +What left this stain on my couch? +What never fails to liven up the party? +What's a girl's best friend? +What's fun until it gets weird? +What's George W. Bush thinking about right now? +What's making things awkward in the sauna? +What's my anti-drug? +What's my secret power? +What's Teach for America using to inspire inner city students to succeed? +What's that smell? +What's that sound? +What's the gift that keeps on giving? +What's the most emo? +What's the new fad diet? +What's the next happy meal toy? +What's there a ton of in heaven? +What will always get you laid? +What will I bring back in time to convince people that I am a powerful wizard? +What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? +When all else fails, I can always masturbate to _____. +When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate _____. +When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of _____. +When I pooped, what came out of my butt? +When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a Plague of _____. +White people like _____. +WHOOO! God Damn I love _____! +Why am I broke? +Why am I sticky? +Why can't I sleep at night? +Why do I hurt all over? +Yo' mama so fat she _____! +Your persistence is admirable, my dear Prince. But you cannot win my heart with _____ alone. diff --git a/lang/en/cards/white b/lang/en/cards/white new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1c15a42 --- /dev/null +++ b/lang/en/cards/white @@ -0,0 +1,828 @@ +10 Incredible Facts About the Anus. +24-hour media coverage. +40 acres and a mule. +50,000 volts straight to the nipples. +72 virgins. +8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin. +A 55-gallon drum of lube. +Aaron Burr. +A bag of magic beans. +A balanced breakfast. +A ball of earwax, semen, and toenail clippings. +A big black dick. +A bigger, blacker dick. +A bitch slap. +A black male in his early 20s, last seen wearing a hoodie. +A bleached asshole. +A bloody pacifier. +A boo-boo. +A Bop It. +A botched circumcision. +A brain tumor. +A bucket of fish heads. +A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans. +A Burmese tiger pit. +A can of whoop-ass. +A cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus. +A cooler full of organs. +A cop who is also a dog. +A crappy little hand. +A crazy little thing called love. +Active listening. +Actually getting shot, for real. +Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers. +A dance move that's just sex. +Adderall. +A defective condom. +A disappointing birthday party. +A disappointing salad. +A dollop of sour cream. +Advice from a wise, old black man. +A face full of horse cum. +A falcon with a cap on it's head. +A fart. +A fat bald man from the internet. +A fetus. +A Fleshlight. +A for-real lizard that spits blood from it's eyes. +A foul mouth. +Africa. +African children. +A gassy antelope. +A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry. +A gentle caress of the inner thigh. +A giant powdery manbaby. +A good sniff. +A greased up Matthew McConaughey. +Agriculture. +A homoerotic volleyball montage. +A hopeless amount of spiders. +A horse with no legs. +AIDS. +AIDS monkeys. +A kiss on the lips. +A lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint. +Alcoholism. +A lifetime of sadness. +A live studio audience. +All of my friends dying. +All of this blood. +All these decorative pillows. +All the single ladies. +All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99. +Almost giving money to a homeless person. +A low standard of living. +Altar boys. +A magic hippie love cloud. +A manhole. +A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings. +A man on the brink of orgasm. +A mating display. +Ambiguous sarcasm. +A micropenis. +A micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties. +A middle-aged man on roller skates. +A mime having a stroke. +A monkey smoking a cigar. +A mopey zoo lion. +A mouthful of potato salad. +Amputees. +A murder most foul. +Anal beads. +Anal fissures like you wouldn't believe. +An all-midget production of Shakespeare's Richard III. +An army of skeletons. +An ass disaster. +An asymmetric boob job. +A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world. +Ancient Athenian boy-fucking. +Andre the Giant's enormous, leathery scrotum. +An endless stream of diarrhea. +An erection that lasts longer than four hours. +An ether-soaked rag. +An Etsy steampunk strap-on. +An evil man in evil clothes. +Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night. +An icepick lobotomy. +An inability to form meaningful relationships. +An interracial handshake. +An M16 assault rifle. +An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist. +An Oedipus complex. +Another shot of morphine. +An oversized lollipop. +A nuanced critique. +An ugly face. +An unforgettable quinceanera. +An unhinged ferris wheel rolling towards the sea. +An uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation. +An unstoppable wave of fire ants. +A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana. +A passionate latino lover. +A pile of squirming bodies. +A pinata full of scorpions. +A plunger to the face. +A powered exoskeleton. +A PowerPoint presentation. +A pyramid of severed heads. +A Quesadilla Explosion Salad from Chili's. +A really cool hat. +A reason not to commit suicide. +A rival dojo. +Arnold Schwarzenegger. +A robust mongoloid. +A sad fat dragon with no friends. +A sad handjob. +A salty surprise. +A sassy black woman. +A sausage festival. +A sea of troubles. +A sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness. +A sex goblin with a carnival penis. +A shiny rock that proves I love you. +Asians who aren't good at math. +A slightly shittier parallel universe. +A smiling black man, a latina businesswoman, a cool Asian, and some whites. +A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis. +A sofa that says "I have style, but I like to be comfortable." +A soulful rendition of "Ol' Man River." +A spastic nerd. +A spontaneous conga line. +A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles. +Assless chaps. +Ass to mouth. +A stray pube. +A subscription to Men's fitness. +A Super Soaker full of cat pee. +A surprising amount of hair. +A sweaty, panting leather daddy. +A sweet spaceship. +A team of lawyers. +A thermonuclear detonation. +A time travel paradox. +A tiny horse. +A tribe of warrior women. +A Ugandan warlord. +Auschwitz. +Authentic Mexican cuisine. +Autocannibalism. +A vagina that leads to another dimension. +A web of lies. +A whole new kind of porn. +A windmill full of corpses. +AXE Body Spray. +A zero-risk way to make $2,000 from home. +A zesty breakfast burrito. +Backwards knees. +Balls. +Barack Obama. +Basic human decency. +BATMAN!!! +Battlefield amputations. +Beefin' over turf. +Bees? +Being a busy adult with many important things to do. +Being a dick to children. +Being a dinosaur. +Being a motherfucking sorcerer. +Being awesome at sex. +Being fabulous. +Being fat and stupid. +Being marginalized. +Being nine years old. +Being on fire. +Being paralyzed from the neck down. +Being rich. +Being worshipped as the one true God. +Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone. +Bill Nye the Science Guy. +Bingeing and purging. +Bio-engineered assault rifles with acid breath. +Bitches. +Blackface. +Black people. +Blackula. +Blood farts. +Blowing some dudes in an alley. +Blowjobs for everyone. +Boogers. +Boring vaginal sex. +Boris the Soviet Love Hammer. +Bosnian chicken farmers. +Bouncing up and down. +Breaking out into song and dance. +Brown people. +Bullshit. +Butt stuff. +Buying the right pants to be cool. +Calculating every mannerism so as to not suggest homosexuality. +Cards Against Humanity. +Carnies. +Catapults. +Catastrophic urethral trauma. +Centaurs. +Chainsaws for hands. +Changing a person's mind with logic and facts. +Cheating in the Special Olympics. +Child abuse. +Child beauty pageants. +Child Protective Services. +Children on leashes. +Child support payments. +Christopher Walken. +Chrystal meth. +Chugging a lava lamp. +Chunks of dead hitchhiker. +Civilian casualties. +Clams. +Classist undertones. +Clenched butt cheeks. +Coat hanger abortions. +Cock. +Committing mid-blowjob. +Concealing a boner. +Consensual sex. +Copping a feel. +Count Chocula. +Court-ordered rehab. +Crazy opium eyes. +Crippling debt. +Crucifixion. +Crumbs all over the god damn carpet. +Crushing Mr. Peanut's brittle body. +Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath. +Cuddling. +Cutting off a flamingo's legs with garden shears. +Cybernetic enhancements. +Daddy issues. +Daddy's credit card. +Daniel Radcliffe's delicious asshole. +Dark and mysterious forces beyond our control. +Darth Vador. +Dead babies. +Dead parents. +Death by Steven Seagal. +Deez nuts. +Deflowering the princess. +Demonic possession. +Dem titties. +Denzel. +Depression. +Destroying the evidence. +Dick Cheney. +Dick fingers. +Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of "Friends." +Disco fever. +Doing the right stuff to her nipples. +Doing the right thing. +Doin' it in the butt. +Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza. +Doo-doo. +Dorito breath. +Double penetration. +Drinking alone. +Drinking responsibly. +Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs to get fifty continuous hours of energy. +Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up. +Dry heaving. +Dying. +Dying alone and in pain. +Dying of dysentery. +Eating an albino. +Eating the last known bison. +Edible underpants. +Ejaculating live bees and bees are angry. +Elderly Japanese men. +Embryonic stem cells. +Emotions. +Ennui. +Enormous Scandinavian women. +Erectile dysfunction. +Estrogen. +Ethnic cleansing. +Eugenics. +Exactly what you'd expect. +Existing. +Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor. +Exploding pigeons. +Explosions. +Extremely tight pants. +Fabricating statistics. +Falling into the toilet. +Famine. +Fancy Feast. +Farting and walking away. +Fear itself. +Feeding Rosie O'Donnell. +Fetal alcohol syndrome. +Fiery poops. +Figgy pudding. +Figuring out how to have sex with a dolphin. +Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding. +Finally finishing off the Indians. +Finding Waldo. +Fingering. +Finger painting. +Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog. +Fisting. +Five-Dollar Footlongs. +Flesh-eating bacteria. +Flightless birds. +Flying robots that kill people. +Flying sex snakes. +Foreskin. +Former President George W. Bush. +Free ice cream, yo. +Free samples. +Friction. +Friendly fire. +Friends with benefits. +Frolicking. +Fucking a corpse back to life. +Fuck Mountain. +Full frontal nudity. +Funky fresh rhymes. +Gandalf. +Gandhi. +Gay aliens. +Geese. +Genetically engineered super-soldiers. +Genghis Khan. +Genghis Khan's DNA. +Genuine human connection. +George Clooney's musk. +German dungeon porn. +Getting abducted by Peter Pan. +Getting caught by the police and going to jail. +Getting drive-by shot. +Getting eaten alive by Guy Fieri. +Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group. +Getting in her pants, politely. +Getting married, having a few kids, buying some cool stuff, retiring to Florida, and dying. +Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon. +Getting really high. +Getting so angry that you pop a boner. +Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick. +Ghosts. +Giant sperm from outer space. +Girls that always be texting'. +Giving 110%. +Giving birth to the Antichrist. +Gladiatorial combat. +Gloryholes. +Goblins. +God. +Gogurt. +Going around punching people. +Going to a high school reunion on ketamine. +Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis. +Grandma. +Grandpa's ashes. +Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content. +Grave robbing. +Growing a pair. +Half-assed foreplay. +Harry Potter erotica. +Having anuses for eyes. +Having a penis. +Having been dead for a while. +Having sex on top of a pizza. +Having shotguns for legs. +Heartwarming orphans. +Helplessly giggling at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis. +Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II. +Heteronormativity. +Hillary Clinton's death stare. +Hip hop jewels. +Hipsters. +Historically black colleges. +Historical revisionism. +Holding down a child and farting all over him. +Homeless people. +Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine. +Hope. +Hormone injections. +Horrifying laser removal accidents. +Horse meat. +Hospice care. +Hot cheese. +Hot people. +Hot Pockets. +How awesome I am. +Hurricane Katrina. +Inappropriate yodeling. +Incest. +Indescribable loneliness. +Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other. +Insatiable bloodlust. +Inserting a mason jar into my anus. +Interspecies marriage. +Intimacy problems. +Invading Poland. +Italians. +Jafar. +Jean-Claude Van Damme in slow motion. +Jeff Goldblum. +Jerking off into a pool of children's tears. +Jewish fraternities. +Jizz. +Jobs. +Joe Biden. +John Wilkes Booth. +Judge Judy. +Jumping out at people. +Justin Bieber. +Just the tip. +Kamikaze pilots. +Kanye West. +Keanu Reeves. +Khakis. +Kids with ass cancer. +Lactation. +Lady Gaga. +Lance Armstrong's missing testicle. +Land mines. +Laying an egg. +Leprosy. +Letting everyone down. +Levelling up. +Licking things to claim them as your own. +Literally eating shit. +Living in a trashcan. +Lockjaw. +Loki, the trickster god. +Lots and lots of abortions. +Lumberjack fantasies. +Lunchables. +Mad hacky-sack skills. +Magnets. +Making a friend. +Making a pouty face. +Making the penises kiss. +Man meat. +Masturbation. +Maximal insertion. +Me. +MechaHitler. +Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament. +Men. +Menstrual rage. +Me time. +Michael Jackson. +Michelle Obama's arms. +Mild autism. +Miley Cyrus at 55. +Moderate to severe joint pain. +Mom. +Moms new boyfriend. +Mooing. +Moral ambiguity. +Morgan Freeman's voice. +Mouth herpes. +Mr. Clean, right behind you. +Mufasa's death scene. +Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him). +Multiple stab wounds. +Mutually-assured destruction. +My black ass. +My boyfriend's stupid penis. +My collection of high-tech sex toys. +My dad's dumb fucking face. +My dead son's baseball glove. +My first kill. +My first period. +My genitals. +My humps. +My inner demons. +My machete. +My manservant, Claude. +My relationship status. +My sex dungeon. +My sex life. +My soul. +My vagina. +My worthless son. +Natalie Portman. +Natural male enhancement. +Natural selection. +Nazis. +Necrophilia. +Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits. +Neil Patrick Harris. +New Age music. +Nickelback. +Nicolas Cage. +Nipple blades. +No clothes on, penis in vagina. +Not believing in giraffes. +Not contributing to society in any meaningful way. +Not giving a shit about the Third World. +Not having sex. +Nothing. +Not reciprocating oral sex. +Not wearing pants. +Nubile slave boys. +Nunchuck moves. +Object permanence. +Oil! +Old-people smell. +Oncoming traffic. +One Ring to rule them all. +One thousand Slim Jims. +One trillion dollars. +Oompa-Loompas. +Opposable thumbs. +Our first chimpanzee president. +Out-of-this-world bazongos. +Overcompensation. +Overpowering your father. +Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum. +Panda sex. +Party Mexicans. +Passive-aggressive Post-it notes. +Pedophiles. +Peeing a little bit. +Penis breath. +Penis envy. +P.F. Chang himself. +Pictures of boobs. +Pixelated bukkake. +Police brutality. +Pooping back and forth. Forever. +Poopy diapers. +Poor life choices. +Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes. +Poor people. +Power. +Powerful thighs. +Prancing. +Praying the gay away. +Preteens. +Pretending to care. +Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game. +Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa. +Puberty. +Public ridicule. +Pulling out. +Pumping out a baby every nine months. +Puppies! +Putting an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR. +Queefing. +Quiche. +Quivering jowls. +Racially-biased SAT questions. +Racism. +Raptor attacks. +Repression. +Republicans. +Revenge fucking. +Reverse cowgirl. +Riding off into the sunset. +Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart. +Rising from the grave. +Road head. +Robert Downey, Jr. +RoboCop. +Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king. +Ronald Reagan. +Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere. +Running out of semen. +Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body. +Russian super-tuberculosis. +Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse. +Same-sex ice dancing. +Samuel L. Jackson. +Sanding off a man's nose. +Santa Claus. +Sarah Palin. +Savagely beating a mascot. +Saxophone solos. +Saying "I love you." +Science. +Scientology. +Screaming like a maniac. +Scrotal frostbite. +Scrotum tickling. +Sean Connery. +Sean Penn. +Seeing grandma naked. +Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes. +Seeing things from Hitler's perspective. +Self-flagellation. +Self-loathing. +Seppuku. +September 11th, 2001. +Serfdom. +Sexual humiliation. +Sexual peeing. +Sexual Tension. +Sex with Patrick Stewart. +Sexy pillow fights. +Shaft. +Shapeshifters. +Shaquille O'Neal's acting career. +Sharks with legs. +Shiny objects. +Shutting the fuck up. +Silence. +Skeletor. +Slapping a racist old lady. +Slowly easing down onto a cucumber. +Smallpox blankets. +Smegma. +Smoking crack, for instance. +Sneezing, farting and coming at the same time. +Sniffing glue. +Snorting coke off a clown's boner +Social justice warriors with flamethrowers of compassion. +Some douche with an acoustic guitar. +Some god-damn peace and quiet. +Some kind of bird-man. +Some really fucked-up shit. +Some shit-hot guitar licks. +Some sort of Asian. +Soup that is too hot. +Special musical guest, Cher. +Spectacular abs. +Spending lots of money. +Sperm whales. +Spontaneous human combustion. +Sports. +Stalin. +Statistically validated stereotypes. +Stephen Hawking talking dirty. +Stockholm Syndrome. +Stuffing a child's face with Fun Dip until he starts having fun. +Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife. +Sudden Poop Explosion Disease. +Sugar madness. +Suicidal thoughts. +Sunshine and rainbows. +Surprise sex! +Sweet, sweet vengeance. +Swiftly achieving orgasm. +Switching to Geico. +Swooping. +Synergistic management solutions. +Syphilitic insanity. +Take-backsies. +Taking off your shirt. +Tasteful sideboob. +Teaching a robot to love. +Teenage pregnancy. +Tentacle porn. +Testicular torsion. +That ass. +The Abercrombie & Fitch lifestyle. +The American Dream. +The Amish. +The art of seduction. +The basic suffering that pervades all of existence. +The Big Bang. +The black half of Barack Obama. +The black Power Ranger. +The Blood of Christ. +The boners of the elderly. +The Boy Scouts of America. +The Care Bear Stare. +The Chinese gymnastics team. +The chronic. +The clitoris. +The complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East. +The cool, refreshing taste of Pepsi. +The day the birds attacked. +The Devil himself. +The economy. +The eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion. +The entire Internet. +The entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir. +The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter. +The female orgasm. +The folly of man. +The Force. +The four arms of Vishnu. +The gays. +The ghosts of Marlon Brando. +The glass ceiling. +The Great Depression. +The Gulags. +The Hamburglar. +The hardworking mexican. +The Harlem Globetrotters. +The harsh light of day. +The heart of a child. +The hiccups. +The Holy Bible. +The homosexual agenda. +The human body. +The Hustle. +The inevitable death of the universe. +The invisible hand. +The Jews. +The KKK. +The Kool-Aid Man. +The Land of Chocolate. +The light of a billion suns. +The Little Engine That Could. +The Make-A-Wish Foundation. +The mere concept of Applebees. +The milk man. +The miracle of childbirth. +The mixing of the races. +The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth. +The morbidly obese. +The new Radiohead album. +The ooze. +The passage of time. +The Patriarchy. +The peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China. +The penny whistle solo from "My Heart Will Go On." +The pirate's life. +The placenta. +The Pope. +The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now. +The profoundly handicapped. +The Rapture. +The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. +The rhythms of Africa. +The safe word. +The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction. +The shambling corpse of Larry King. +The size of my penis. +The South. +The swim team, all at once. +The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life. +The Tempur-Pedic Swedish Sleep System. +The terrorists. +The thin veneer of situational casualty that underlies porn. +The Three-Fifths compromise. +The tiger that killed my father. +The tiniest shred of evidence that God is real. +The token minority. +The Trail of Tears. +The true meaning of Christmas. +The Ubermensch. +The unbelievable world of mushrooms. +The Underground Railroad. +The violation of our basic human rights. +The way white people is. +The white half of Barack Obama. +The wonders of the Orient. +The World of Warcraft. +The wrath of Vladimir Putin. +Third base. +This year's mass shooting. +Three consecutive seconds of happiness. +Three dicks at the same time. +Three months in the hole. +Throwing a virgin into a volcano. +Tiny nipples. +Tom Cruise. +Tongue. +Toni Morrison's vagina. +Too much cocaine. +Tripping balls. +Two midgets shitting into a bucket. +Unfathomable stupidity. +Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks. +Unquestioning obedience. +Unrelenting genital punishment. +Used panties. +Vegetarian options. +Vehicular manslaughter. +Velcro. +Viagra. +Vietnam flashbacks. +Vigilante justice. +Vigorous jazz hands. +Vikings. +Waiting 'til marriage. +Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot. +Walking in on Dad peeing into mom's mouth. +Weapons-grade plutonium. +Wearing an octopus for a hat. +Wearing glasses and sounding smart. +Western standards of beauty. +Wet dreams. +Whatever a McRib is made of. +What Jesus would do. +When you fart and a little bit comes out. +Whining like a little bitch. +Whipping a disobedient slave. +Whipping it out. +Whispering all sexy. +White-man scalps. +White people. +White privilege. +Wifely duties. +William Shatner. +Winking at old people. +Wiping her butt. +Women in yogurt commercials. +Women's suffrage. +Words, words, words. +World peace. +Yeast. +YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS. +Your weird brother. +Zeus's sexual appetites. diff --git a/lang/fr/cards/black b/lang/fr/cards/black new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1298307 --- /dev/null +++ b/lang/fr/cards/black @@ -0,0 +1,60 @@ +Les Etats-Unis ont débuté le parachutage de _____ aux enfants afghans. +La guerre, c'est bien pour quoi? +Qu'est-ce qui m'empêche de dormir? +C'est quoi cette odeur? +Qui a volé les cookies? +Des études prouvent que les rats de laboratoires se déplacent cinquante fois plus vite dans les labyrinthes après avoir été exposés à _____. +Quand j'irai en prison, je cacherai _____ dans mes fesses pour faire de la contrebande. +Si j'étais Président de la République, je créerais le ministère de _____. +Qu'est-ce qui se bonifie avec le temps? +Je bois pour oublier _____. +Qu'ai-je rapporté du Mexique? +La sortie scolaire a été totalement gâchée par _____. +Qu'est ce que vous n'aimeriez pas trouver dans de la nourriture chinoise? +Dans son nouveau film Disney, Hannah Montana affronte _____ pour la toute première fois. +Pendant le sexe, j'aime penser à _____. +A cause de quoi mon slip est-il trempé? +Que me cachent mes parents? +Les Blancs aiment bien _____. +A cause de quoi les terroristes nous détestent-ils autant? +Comme j'aimerais ne pas avoir perdu la notice pour _____. +Désolé les gens, je viens juste de _____. +C'est quoi ce bruit? +Qu'est-ce qu'on peut trouver par milliers au paradis? +Le meilleur ami des filles, c'est _____. +Quel est le plaisir coupable de Batman? +Les psychanalystes s'allarment devant l'émergence de la phobie de _____ chez la plupart de leurs patients. +Quand j'étais petit, j'adorais _____. +Qu'est-ce qui vous fera réussir à coucher à tous les coups? +Quel est le prochain duo super-héros/acolyte? +_____ : Bon jusqu'à la dernière goutte. +Désormais, le Père Noël n'apportera plus du charbon aux vilains enfants mais _____. +Quel est mon super-pouvoir secret? +Pour draguer, il ne faut surtout pas parler de son penchant pour _____. +Que préfère Nicolas Sarkozy? +Qui est le plus aigri? +_____? Il y a une application pour ça. +Pour mon prochain tour de magie, je vais faire sortir _____ du chapeau. +Durant sa période marron (souvent négligée), Picasso peignait beaucoup de tableaux représentant _____. +La médecine reconnaît enfin les pouvoirs thérapeutiques de _____. +_____ : Testé par les enfants, approuvé par les mamans. +Qu'est-ce qui peut aider à maintenir une relation de couple? +La vie était dure pour les hommes des cavernes avant _____. +Ce soir sur M6, Bernard de la Villardière vous propose une enquête exclusive sur _____. +Que sentent les personnes âgées? +Qu'est-ce qui aide Barack Obama à se changer les idées? +Il mange quoi vin Diesel au petit déjeuner? +Qu'est-ce que mamie trouve d'abord perturbant, puis étrangement plaisant? +_____. C'est un piège. +Quel est le prochain jouet du HappyMeal? +Si j'étais riche, je ferais ériger une statue de 15 mètres de haut pour commémorer _____. +Mais avant de vous tuer, Mr Bond, je dois vous montrer _____. +Ce soir sur Canal+ découvrez la tragique histoire de _____. +Qu'est-ce qui me donne des gaz incontrôlables? +Qu'est-ce qui est le plus hardcore? +Qu'est-ce qui est le plus gay? +Alors que les USA et l'URSS s'affrontaient dans la course à l'espace, le Mexique dépensait des millions de pesos dans la recherche sur _____. +Alors que Pharaon restait impassible Moise provoqua la onzième plaie : _____. +Je ne sais pas avec quelles armes se fera la Troisième Guerre Mondiale, mais la Quatrième se fera à coups de _____. +La dernière chose à laquelle pensa Michael Jackson avant de mourir fut _____. +Des ethnographes ont récemment découvert une tribu aborigène vouant un culte à _____. diff --git a/lang/fr/cards/white b/lang/fr/cards/white new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b3766a7 --- /dev/null +++ b/lang/fr/cards/white @@ -0,0 +1,396 @@ +La Sainte Bible. +La Macarena. +Se chier dessus. +Un anus maquillé. +Les juifs avec une coupe afro. +Les P'tits Filous Tubes. +Une branlette tristement exécutée. +François Ba Des biscuits apéro. +Michaël Jackson +BATMAN!!! +Les Vikings. +L'abstinence. +Le bibendum Michelin. +Superbus. +Son Altesse royale, la reine Elizabeth II. +L'auto-cannibalisme. +La série des "Fais-moi peur !" +Le ping pong de caca cul à cul. +Pour toujours. +La fête du slip. +Mes parties génitales. +L'inceste. +L'Amérique. +Les chansons de Pascal Obispo. +Un twist de M. Night Shyamalan. +Mourir de la dysenterie. +Les équipes chinoises de gynmastique. +Du sexe surprise ! +Batifoler. +Une tortue vicieuse qui te mord la bite. +Le lancer de nain sur une cible en velcro. +2 Girls 1 Cup (vidéo scatophile célèbre sur Internet). +La tension sexuelle. +Une fête d'anniversaire ratée. +Du Axe Body Spray. +Des bébés chiens ! +Les gens qui sentent leurs chaussettes. +La destruction mutuelle assurée. +Le Ku Klux Klan. +Boire tout seul. +Des abdominaux spectaculaires. +Faire le bon choix. +Du sperme de baleine. +Les inondations. +Center Park. +Les Oompas Loompas. +La capacité d'écoute. +Se mettre tellement en colère que ça en donne une érection. +Les Juifs. +Les cols portés relevés. +World of Warcraft. +Faire la moue. +Gargamel. +Les Twinkies. +Le Stade de France. +Etre un sale con envers les enfants. +Des salopes. +Les enfants tenus en laisse. +Laisser un message maladroit sur un répondeur. +Beaucoup de bruit pour rien. +Les Noirs. +La lactation. +Natalie Portman. +Britney Spears à 55 ans. +Les Jazz Hands. +Une fanfic érotique sur l'univers de Harry Potter. +Les existentialistes. +La science. +Une mycose. +Chier dans la soupe. +La puberté. +Le Pape. +Abuser des cabines de bronzage. +Les tétraplégiques. +Un cinquantenaire qui pratique le roller. +Se retirer. +Brouter. +Péter et s'en aller. +Parkinson. +Auschwitz. +Des chèvres qui mangent des sacs poubelle. +Boire un verre de beurre fondu. +La couille manquante de Lance Armstrong. +Le faire dans les fesses. +La séduction. +Les Jonas Brothers. +La sexualité des pandas. +Un chameau en dessin animé qui apprécie une délicieuse et rafraichissante taffe de cigarette. +Respirer de la colle. +Les sites de rencontres échangistes. +Les exercices pour stimuler l'esprit d'équipe en entreprise. +Plus Belle La Vie. +Se torcher. +L'impuissance. +Un tir dans son propre camp. +Les solos de saxophone. +Un énième film de vampires. +La kétamine. +Les oestrogènes. +Le Sud. +Manger pour pouvoir vomir. +Un bulot. +Des catapultes. +Un burrito très pimenté. +Les filles à qui l'alcool ne réussit pas. +Des gobelins. +La Scientologie. +Nicolas Cage. +Une torsion musculaire. +La chair humaine. +La revente de cadeau sur eBay. +Une vidéo amateur de Claire Chazal qui sanglote au dessus d'un plat surgelé. +Les chapeaux à hélices. +Où sont les toilettes ? +Les Hot Pockets. +Des pilotes kamikazes. +La lèpre. +Les concours de beauté pour enfants. +Les pantalons fendus en cuir des motards et des cowboys. +Des oeufs de ptérodactyles. +Des couvertures avec la variole. +Le sexe oral non réciproque. +Des sucettes géantes. +Gandhi. +Les soutifs lance-flammes. +Le Viagra. +Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. +Sean Penn. +Keanu Reeves. +L'esclavage. +Genghis Khan. +Corky. +Un gardien de but. +Des oies. +Des refaits asymétriques. +Les hommes. +La bestialité. +Ce putain de jeu. +Le Médiator. +Des Chuppa Chups. +Will Smith. +La peluche "Elmo chatouille-moi". +Les couteaux à cran d'arrêt. +Des enfants avec un cancer du colon. +Des pankakes. +Céline Dion. +Une canette de Red Bull. +Le sang du Christ. +Ta mère qui me demande en ami sur Facebook. +Les gens en chaleur. +Les profs remplaçants. +Une parade nuptiale. +Avoir un calcul rénal. +La bagarre. +Jamie de C'est Pas Sorcier. +Les piercings sur les parties génitales. +Les témoins de Jéhovah. +Les roux. +Sarah Palin. +L'agriculture. +Le tri sélectif. +Les pornos SM allemands. +Un terroriste qui fait des vannes. +Une fusillade dans un lycée. +L'avortement au cintre. +Le caca qui brule. +Mon statut relationnel. +Doigter. +Le SIDA. +Valérie Damidot. +Les rabat-joies. +Une lobotomie au pic à glace. +Un type louche en imperméable qui traine devant les écoles primaires. +Les chinois. +Un caniche nain. +Les trous dans les cloisons des WC sur les aires d'autoroutes (glory holes). +Louragan Katrina. +Les Oreos. +Les Nazis. +Les femmes dans les pubs de yaourts. +Les règles abondantes. +Les Frolics. +Les mines antipersonnel. +Une maison de retraite. +Le placenta. +Bono. +Justin Bieber. +La nécrophilie. +Un prépuce. +Indochine. +Le Big Bang. +Bob l'éponge. +Ma collection de sex-toys high-tech. +La guérison par la foi. +Mon âme. +Aller à la messe de minuit. +Les connards sur leur iPhone 4S. +La répression. +Improviser un dispositif à base d'explosifs. +Draguer des personnes âgées. +Les éjaculations nocturnes. +Heath Ledger. +Les personnes âgées japonaises. +La Valse des Fleurs. +Une fellation au volant. +Les fatasmes sur les bucherons. +Un téton qui sort du soutien-gorge. +Les bébés morts. +Etre en feu. +La masturbation. +Le triangle des Bermudes. +Un océan de troubles. +La sélection naturelle. +Des parents morts. +Les Italiens. +Tom Cruise. +La chevalerie. +Les jeux vidéo en réseau. +Le clitoris. +Les mangas pornos avec tentacules. +Mahomet. +Un gros ventre fendu qui ressemble à un cul. +La maltraitance sur mineur. +Toucher des organes génitaux par inadvertance. +Super Mario qui vient réparer une fuite dans un film porno. +Le Télétubbie qui fait le plus gay des quatre. +Les amis qui bouffent tous vos biscuits. +Paris Hilton. +Un mime qui fait une attaque. +Twitter. +Des préléminaires laborieux. +Un moment à soi. +Des gants en latex. +Porter des sous-vêtements à l'envers pour éviter de faire une machine. +Des crevettes à volonté pour 4.99$ +Des échantillons gratuits. +Du kloug. +Un poil pubien abandonné. +Attendre jusqu'au mariage. +Cette réponse est post-moderne. +Un Tamagotchi négligé. +Les décolletés élégants. +Des travestis potables. +Arnold Schwarzenegger. +Piller des tombes. +Un pistolet à eau rempli de pipi de chat. +D'Artagnan. +Ronald McDonald. +Se donner à 110%. +Nourrir Laurence Boccolini. +Un coup d'oeil. +De multiples coups de couteau. +Casimir. +Le meurtre le plus immonde. +Le périnée. +Ouvrir la Mer Rouge. +Trop de gel dans les cheveux. +Les vidéos porno hardcore. +Les sous-vêtements comestibles. +Les Blancs. +Tiger Woods. +Descendre en piqué. +Coucher avec elle. +Les chants tyroliens dans les moments innappropriés. +K2000. +Les fantômes. +Un plan cul. +L'intrigue d'un film de Michael Bay. +La folie des hommes. +Un chapeau vraiment très cool. +La musique pop turque. +Robert Downey Jr. +Nicolas Hulot. +Cacher une érection. +L'herpès buccal. +Le comportement passif agressif. +Deux nains qui chient dans un sceau. +Les pré-adolescentes. +Hippo Gloutons. +Kayne West. +Vomir sans vomi. +Eric Zemmour. +Les sans-abris. +Coco, le singe des Coco Pops. +Les échanges de politesse. +Des boules. +Le nettoyage ethnique. +Le truc du Télé Achat qui électrocute les abdominaux. +La gastro. +Des centaures. +Un uppercut. +Les nains. +Quand tu pètes et que ça fait un léger bruit. +Enlever ton t-shirt. +Monsieur Patate. +Un foetus. +Des blagues sur l'Holocauste au moment inopportun. +Un spectacle de marionnettes. +Les pets vaginaux. +Un Sunday Caramel. +Des abeilles ? +Le droit de vote aux femmes. +Bond, James Bond. +De la pâtée pour chat. +Le pudding à la figue. +Le soleil qui brille et les arcs en ciel. +Le réchauffement planétaire. +Boire de la bière en faisant le poirier sur le tonneau. +La règle de trois. +Porter des moufles. +Etre fabuleux. +Buzz l'Eclair qui explique le sexe au enfants. +Manger tous les cookies qu'on devait vendre à la kermesse. +Les émotions. +Du thon en boite avec des bouts de dauphins. +Tricher aux Jeux Olympiques Spéciaux (réservés aux handicapés mentaux). +Une attaque de vélociraptors. +Une course à la mort en fauteuil roulant. +L'attitude. +Les surdoués en mathématiques. +Les boules anales. +Les joueurs de djembé amateurs. +Un moulin à vent rempli de cadavres. +Hulk Hogan. +Le smegma. +Des pédophiles. +Scalper. +Porter des semelles compensées. +La Gestapo. +La torture par l'eau. +Les chorégraphies disco. +Chuck Norris qui casse de la lesbienne antisémite. +La Heineken. +Un micropénis. +Les oiseaux qui ne savent pas voler. +Braquer une banque du sperme. +Les quotas pour les minorités. +Un complexe d'Oedipe +Les combats de coqs. +La carrière musicale de Tony Parker. +Ma vie sexuelle. +Julien Lepers. +Se saouler au bain de bouche. +La maladie de la vache folle. +Hara-kiri. +Piéger votre maison par peur des voleurs. +Le patinage artistique en duo non mixte. +Dark Vador. +Voldemort. +Lécher les choses pour prouver qu'elles sont à vous. +Nicolas Sarkozy. +La Gay Pride. +La combustion spontanée. +Barack Obama. +Apprendre à un robot à aimer. +Sean Connery. +La paix mondiale. +La dépression nerveuse. +Les amputés. +Une mama black en colère. +Les Talibans. +Le coeur d'un enfant. +Etre riche. +Des bananes en pyjamas. +Se gratter le cul ni vu ni connu. +Les golden showers (pratique urophile). +Des victimes civiles. +Une érection qui dure plus de quatre heures. +Ces moments où vous avez du sable dans le vagin. +Se pavaner. +L'obésité. +Les gays. +Les petits chanteurs à la croix de bois. +Faire un petit pipi. +Mourir. +Essayer de pécho de la meuf à la sortie des cliniques d'avortement. +Les asiatiques qui ne sont pas bons en maths. +Les garçons qui n'appellent pas. +L'odeur des vieux. +Un singe qui fume le cigare. +Une détonation thermonucléaire. +Kim Jong II. +Faire un câlin. +La vieille qui joue dans Arabesques. +La diarrhée des lendemains de fêtes arrosées. +L'alcoolisme. +Le racisme. +Le catéchisme. +Les préservatifs parfumés. +Se réveiller à moitié nu sur le parking du McDo. +Le vagin de Whoopi Goldberg. +Monsieur Propre. +Les pauvres. +L'envie de pénis. +Les Mexicains qui travaillent dur. +Douce, douce vengeance... diff --git a/white_cards b/white_cards deleted file mode 100644 index 1c15a42..0000000 --- a/white_cards +++ /dev/null @@ -1,828 +0,0 @@ -10 Incredible Facts About the Anus. -24-hour media coverage. -40 acres and a mule. -50,000 volts straight to the nipples. -72 virgins. -8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin. -A 55-gallon drum of lube. -Aaron Burr. -A bag of magic beans. -A balanced breakfast. -A ball of earwax, semen, and toenail clippings. -A big black dick. -A bigger, blacker dick. -A bitch slap. -A black male in his early 20s, last seen wearing a hoodie. -A bleached asshole. -A bloody pacifier. -A boo-boo. -A Bop It. -A botched circumcision. -A brain tumor. -A bucket of fish heads. -A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans. -A Burmese tiger pit. -A can of whoop-ass. -A cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus. -A cooler full of organs. -A cop who is also a dog. -A crappy little hand. -A crazy little thing called love. -Active listening. -Actually getting shot, for real. -Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers. -A dance move that's just sex. -Adderall. -A defective condom. -A disappointing birthday party. -A disappointing salad. -A dollop of sour cream. -Advice from a wise, old black man. -A face full of horse cum. -A falcon with a cap on it's head. -A fart. -A fat bald man from the internet. -A fetus. -A Fleshlight. -A for-real lizard that spits blood from it's eyes. -A foul mouth. -Africa. -African children. -A gassy antelope. -A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry. -A gentle caress of the inner thigh. -A giant powdery manbaby. -A good sniff. -A greased up Matthew McConaughey. -Agriculture. -A homoerotic volleyball montage. -A hopeless amount of spiders. -A horse with no legs. -AIDS. -AIDS monkeys. -A kiss on the lips. -A lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint. -Alcoholism. -A lifetime of sadness. -A live studio audience. -All of my friends dying. -All of this blood. -All these decorative pillows. -All the single ladies. -All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99. -Almost giving money to a homeless person. -A low standard of living. -Altar boys. -A magic hippie love cloud. -A manhole. -A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings. -A man on the brink of orgasm. -A mating display. -Ambiguous sarcasm. -A micropenis. -A micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties. -A middle-aged man on roller skates. -A mime having a stroke. -A monkey smoking a cigar. -A mopey zoo lion. -A mouthful of potato salad. -Amputees. -A murder most foul. -Anal beads. -Anal fissures like you wouldn't believe. -An all-midget production of Shakespeare's Richard III. -An army of skeletons. -An ass disaster. -An asymmetric boob job. -A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world. -Ancient Athenian boy-fucking. -Andre the Giant's enormous, leathery scrotum. -An endless stream of diarrhea. -An erection that lasts longer than four hours. -An ether-soaked rag. -An Etsy steampunk strap-on. -An evil man in evil clothes. -Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night. -An icepick lobotomy. -An inability to form meaningful relationships. -An interracial handshake. -An M16 assault rifle. -An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist. -An Oedipus complex. -Another shot of morphine. -An oversized lollipop. -A nuanced critique. -An ugly face. -An unforgettable quinceanera. -An unhinged ferris wheel rolling towards the sea. -An uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation. -An unstoppable wave of fire ants. -A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana. -A passionate latino lover. -A pile of squirming bodies. -A pinata full of scorpions. -A plunger to the face. -A powered exoskeleton. -A PowerPoint presentation. -A pyramid of severed heads. -A Quesadilla Explosion Salad from Chili's. -A really cool hat. -A reason not to commit suicide. -A rival dojo. -Arnold Schwarzenegger. -A robust mongoloid. -A sad fat dragon with no friends. -A sad handjob. -A salty surprise. -A sassy black woman. -A sausage festival. -A sea of troubles. -A sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness. -A sex goblin with a carnival penis. -A shiny rock that proves I love you. -Asians who aren't good at math. -A slightly shittier parallel universe. -A smiling black man, a latina businesswoman, a cool Asian, and some whites. -A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis. -A sofa that says "I have style, but I like to be comfortable." -A soulful rendition of "Ol' Man River." -A spastic nerd. -A spontaneous conga line. -A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles. -Assless chaps. -Ass to mouth. -A stray pube. -A subscription to Men's fitness. -A Super Soaker full of cat pee. -A surprising amount of hair. -A sweaty, panting leather daddy. -A sweet spaceship. -A team of lawyers. -A thermonuclear detonation. -A time travel paradox. -A tiny horse. -A tribe of warrior women. -A Ugandan warlord. -Auschwitz. -Authentic Mexican cuisine. -Autocannibalism. -A vagina that leads to another dimension. -A web of lies. -A whole new kind of porn. -A windmill full of corpses. -AXE Body Spray. -A zero-risk way to make $2,000 from home. -A zesty breakfast burrito. -Backwards knees. -Balls. -Barack Obama. -Basic human decency. -BATMAN!!! -Battlefield amputations. -Beefin' over turf. -Bees? -Being a busy adult with many important things to do. -Being a dick to children. -Being a dinosaur. -Being a motherfucking sorcerer. -Being awesome at sex. -Being fabulous. -Being fat and stupid. -Being marginalized. -Being nine years old. -Being on fire. -Being paralyzed from the neck down. -Being rich. -Being worshipped as the one true God. -Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone. -Bill Nye the Science Guy. -Bingeing and purging. -Bio-engineered assault rifles with acid breath. -Bitches. -Blackface. -Black people. -Blackula. -Blood farts. -Blowing some dudes in an alley. -Blowjobs for everyone. -Boogers. -Boring vaginal sex. -Boris the Soviet Love Hammer. -Bosnian chicken farmers. -Bouncing up and down. -Breaking out into song and dance. -Brown people. -Bullshit. -Butt stuff. -Buying the right pants to be cool. -Calculating every mannerism so as to not suggest homosexuality. -Cards Against Humanity. -Carnies. -Catapults. -Catastrophic urethral trauma. -Centaurs. -Chainsaws for hands. -Changing a person's mind with logic and facts. -Cheating in the Special Olympics. -Child abuse. -Child beauty pageants. -Child Protective Services. -Children on leashes. -Child support payments. -Christopher Walken. -Chrystal meth. -Chugging a lava lamp. -Chunks of dead hitchhiker. -Civilian casualties. -Clams. -Classist undertones. -Clenched butt cheeks. -Coat hanger abortions. -Cock. -Committing mid-blowjob. -Concealing a boner. -Consensual sex. -Copping a feel. -Count Chocula. -Court-ordered rehab. -Crazy opium eyes. -Crippling debt. -Crucifixion. -Crumbs all over the god damn carpet. -Crushing Mr. Peanut's brittle body. -Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath. -Cuddling. -Cutting off a flamingo's legs with garden shears. -Cybernetic enhancements. -Daddy issues. -Daddy's credit card. -Daniel Radcliffe's delicious asshole. -Dark and mysterious forces beyond our control. -Darth Vador. -Dead babies. -Dead parents. -Death by Steven Seagal. -Deez nuts. -Deflowering the princess. -Demonic possession. -Dem titties. -Denzel. -Depression. -Destroying the evidence. -Dick Cheney. -Dick fingers. -Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of "Friends." -Disco fever. -Doing the right stuff to her nipples. -Doing the right thing. -Doin' it in the butt. -Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza. -Doo-doo. -Dorito breath. -Double penetration. -Drinking alone. -Drinking responsibly. -Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs to get fifty continuous hours of energy. -Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up. -Dry heaving. -Dying. -Dying alone and in pain. -Dying of dysentery. -Eating an albino. -Eating the last known bison. -Edible underpants. -Ejaculating live bees and bees are angry. -Elderly Japanese men. -Embryonic stem cells. -Emotions. -Ennui. -Enormous Scandinavian women. -Erectile dysfunction. -Estrogen. -Ethnic cleansing. -Eugenics. -Exactly what you'd expect. -Existing. -Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor. -Exploding pigeons. -Explosions. -Extremely tight pants. -Fabricating statistics. -Falling into the toilet. -Famine. -Fancy Feast. -Farting and walking away. -Fear itself. -Feeding Rosie O'Donnell. -Fetal alcohol syndrome. -Fiery poops. -Figgy pudding. -Figuring out how to have sex with a dolphin. -Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding. -Finally finishing off the Indians. -Finding Waldo. -Fingering. -Finger painting. -Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog. -Fisting. -Five-Dollar Footlongs. -Flesh-eating bacteria. -Flightless birds. -Flying robots that kill people. -Flying sex snakes. -Foreskin. -Former President George W. Bush. -Free ice cream, yo. -Free samples. -Friction. -Friendly fire. -Friends with benefits. -Frolicking. -Fucking a corpse back to life. -Fuck Mountain. -Full frontal nudity. -Funky fresh rhymes. -Gandalf. -Gandhi. -Gay aliens. -Geese. -Genetically engineered super-soldiers. -Genghis Khan. -Genghis Khan's DNA. -Genuine human connection. -George Clooney's musk. -German dungeon porn. -Getting abducted by Peter Pan. -Getting caught by the police and going to jail. -Getting drive-by shot. -Getting eaten alive by Guy Fieri. -Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group. -Getting in her pants, politely. -Getting married, having a few kids, buying some cool stuff, retiring to Florida, and dying. -Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon. -Getting really high. -Getting so angry that you pop a boner. -Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick. -Ghosts. -Giant sperm from outer space. -Girls that always be texting'. -Giving 110%. -Giving birth to the Antichrist. -Gladiatorial combat. -Gloryholes. -Goblins. -God. -Gogurt. -Going around punching people. -Going to a high school reunion on ketamine. -Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis. -Grandma. -Grandpa's ashes. -Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content. -Grave robbing. -Growing a pair. -Half-assed foreplay. -Harry Potter erotica. -Having anuses for eyes. -Having a penis. -Having been dead for a while. -Having sex on top of a pizza. -Having shotguns for legs. -Heartwarming orphans. -Helplessly giggling at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis. -Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II. -Heteronormativity. -Hillary Clinton's death stare. -Hip hop jewels. -Hipsters. -Historically black colleges. -Historical revisionism. -Holding down a child and farting all over him. -Homeless people. -Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine. -Hope. -Hormone injections. -Horrifying laser removal accidents. -Horse meat. -Hospice care. -Hot cheese. -Hot people. -Hot Pockets. -How awesome I am. -Hurricane Katrina. -Inappropriate yodeling. -Incest. -Indescribable loneliness. -Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other. -Insatiable bloodlust. -Inserting a mason jar into my anus. -Interspecies marriage. -Intimacy problems. -Invading Poland. -Italians. -Jafar. -Jean-Claude Van Damme in slow motion. -Jeff Goldblum. -Jerking off into a pool of children's tears. -Jewish fraternities. -Jizz. -Jobs. -Joe Biden. -John Wilkes Booth. -Judge Judy. -Jumping out at people. -Justin Bieber. -Just the tip. -Kamikaze pilots. -Kanye West. -Keanu Reeves. -Khakis. -Kids with ass cancer. -Lactation. -Lady Gaga. -Lance Armstrong's missing testicle. -Land mines. -Laying an egg. -Leprosy. -Letting everyone down. -Levelling up. -Licking things to claim them as your own. -Literally eating shit. -Living in a trashcan. -Lockjaw. -Loki, the trickster god. -Lots and lots of abortions. -Lumberjack fantasies. -Lunchables. -Mad hacky-sack skills. -Magnets. -Making a friend. -Making a pouty face. -Making the penises kiss. -Man meat. -Masturbation. -Maximal insertion. -Me. -MechaHitler. -Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament. -Men. -Menstrual rage. -Me time. -Michael Jackson. -Michelle Obama's arms. -Mild autism. -Miley Cyrus at 55. -Moderate to severe joint pain. -Mom. -Moms new boyfriend. -Mooing. -Moral ambiguity. -Morgan Freeman's voice. -Mouth herpes. -Mr. Clean, right behind you. -Mufasa's death scene. -Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him). -Multiple stab wounds. -Mutually-assured destruction. -My black ass. -My boyfriend's stupid penis. -My collection of high-tech sex toys. -My dad's dumb fucking face. -My dead son's baseball glove. -My first kill. -My first period. -My genitals. -My humps. -My inner demons. -My machete. -My manservant, Claude. -My relationship status. -My sex dungeon. -My sex life. -My soul. -My vagina. -My worthless son. -Natalie Portman. -Natural male enhancement. -Natural selection. -Nazis. -Necrophilia. -Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits. -Neil Patrick Harris. -New Age music. -Nickelback. -Nicolas Cage. -Nipple blades. -No clothes on, penis in vagina. -Not believing in giraffes. -Not contributing to society in any meaningful way. -Not giving a shit about the Third World. -Not having sex. -Nothing. -Not reciprocating oral sex. -Not wearing pants. -Nubile slave boys. -Nunchuck moves. -Object permanence. -Oil! -Old-people smell. -Oncoming traffic. -One Ring to rule them all. -One thousand Slim Jims. -One trillion dollars. -Oompa-Loompas. -Opposable thumbs. -Our first chimpanzee president. -Out-of-this-world bazongos. -Overcompensation. -Overpowering your father. -Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum. -Panda sex. -Party Mexicans. -Passive-aggressive Post-it notes. -Pedophiles. -Peeing a little bit. -Penis breath. -Penis envy. -P.F. Chang himself. -Pictures of boobs. -Pixelated bukkake. -Police brutality. -Pooping back and forth. Forever. -Poopy diapers. -Poor life choices. -Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes. -Poor people. -Power. -Powerful thighs. -Prancing. -Praying the gay away. -Preteens. -Pretending to care. -Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game. -Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa. -Puberty. -Public ridicule. -Pulling out. -Pumping out a baby every nine months. -Puppies! -Putting an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR. -Queefing. -Quiche. -Quivering jowls. -Racially-biased SAT questions. -Racism. -Raptor attacks. -Repression. -Republicans. -Revenge fucking. -Reverse cowgirl. -Riding off into the sunset. -Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart. -Rising from the grave. -Road head. -Robert Downey, Jr. -RoboCop. -Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king. -Ronald Reagan. -Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere. -Running out of semen. -Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body. -Russian super-tuberculosis. -Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse. -Same-sex ice dancing. -Samuel L. Jackson. -Sanding off a man's nose. -Santa Claus. -Sarah Palin. -Savagely beating a mascot. -Saxophone solos. -Saying "I love you." -Science. -Scientology. -Screaming like a maniac. -Scrotal frostbite. -Scrotum tickling. -Sean Connery. -Sean Penn. -Seeing grandma naked. -Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes. -Seeing things from Hitler's perspective. -Self-flagellation. -Self-loathing. -Seppuku. -September 11th, 2001. -Serfdom. -Sexual humiliation. -Sexual peeing. -Sexual Tension. -Sex with Patrick Stewart. -Sexy pillow fights. -Shaft. -Shapeshifters. -Shaquille O'Neal's acting career. -Sharks with legs. -Shiny objects. -Shutting the fuck up. -Silence. -Skeletor. -Slapping a racist old lady. -Slowly easing down onto a cucumber. -Smallpox blankets. -Smegma. -Smoking crack, for instance. -Sneezing, farting and coming at the same time. -Sniffing glue. -Snorting coke off a clown's boner -Social justice warriors with flamethrowers of compassion. -Some douche with an acoustic guitar. -Some god-damn peace and quiet. -Some kind of bird-man. -Some really fucked-up shit. -Some shit-hot guitar licks. -Some sort of Asian. -Soup that is too hot. -Special musical guest, Cher. -Spectacular abs. -Spending lots of money. -Sperm whales. -Spontaneous human combustion. -Sports. -Stalin. -Statistically validated stereotypes. -Stephen Hawking talking dirty. -Stockholm Syndrome. -Stuffing a child's face with Fun Dip until he starts having fun. -Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife. -Sudden Poop Explosion Disease. -Sugar madness. -Suicidal thoughts. -Sunshine and rainbows. -Surprise sex! -Sweet, sweet vengeance. -Swiftly achieving orgasm. -Switching to Geico. -Swooping. -Synergistic management solutions. -Syphilitic insanity. -Take-backsies. -Taking off your shirt. -Tasteful sideboob. -Teaching a robot to love. -Teenage pregnancy. -Tentacle porn. -Testicular torsion. -That ass. -The Abercrombie & Fitch lifestyle. -The American Dream. -The Amish. -The art of seduction. -The basic suffering that pervades all of existence. -The Big Bang. -The black half of Barack Obama. -The black Power Ranger. -The Blood of Christ. -The boners of the elderly. -The Boy Scouts of America. -The Care Bear Stare. -The Chinese gymnastics team. -The chronic. -The clitoris. -The complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East. -The cool, refreshing taste of Pepsi. -The day the birds attacked. -The Devil himself. -The economy. -The eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion. -The entire Internet. -The entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir. -The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter. -The female orgasm. -The folly of man. -The Force. -The four arms of Vishnu. -The gays. -The ghosts of Marlon Brando. -The glass ceiling. -The Great Depression. -The Gulags. -The Hamburglar. -The hardworking mexican. -The Harlem Globetrotters. -The harsh light of day. -The heart of a child. -The hiccups. -The Holy Bible. -The homosexual agenda. -The human body. -The Hustle. -The inevitable death of the universe. -The invisible hand. -The Jews. -The KKK. -The Kool-Aid Man. -The Land of Chocolate. -The light of a billion suns. -The Little Engine That Could. -The Make-A-Wish Foundation. -The mere concept of Applebees. -The milk man. -The miracle of childbirth. -The mixing of the races. -The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth. -The morbidly obese. -The new Radiohead album. -The ooze. -The passage of time. -The Patriarchy. -The peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China. -The penny whistle solo from "My Heart Will Go On." -The pirate's life. -The placenta. -The Pope. -The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now. -The profoundly handicapped. -The Rapture. -The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. -The rhythms of Africa. -The safe word. -The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction. -The shambling corpse of Larry King. -The size of my penis. -The South. -The swim team, all at once. -The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life. -The Tempur-Pedic Swedish Sleep System. -The terrorists. -The thin veneer of situational casualty that underlies porn. -The Three-Fifths compromise. -The tiger that killed my father. -The tiniest shred of evidence that God is real. -The token minority. -The Trail of Tears. -The true meaning of Christmas. -The Ubermensch. -The unbelievable world of mushrooms. -The Underground Railroad. -The violation of our basic human rights. -The way white people is. -The white half of Barack Obama. -The wonders of the Orient. -The World of Warcraft. -The wrath of Vladimir Putin. -Third base. -This year's mass shooting. -Three consecutive seconds of happiness. -Three dicks at the same time. -Three months in the hole. -Throwing a virgin into a volcano. -Tiny nipples. -Tom Cruise. -Tongue. -Toni Morrison's vagina. -Too much cocaine. -Tripping balls. -Two midgets shitting into a bucket. -Unfathomable stupidity. -Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks. -Unquestioning obedience. -Unrelenting genital punishment. -Used panties. -Vegetarian options. -Vehicular manslaughter. -Velcro. -Viagra. -Vietnam flashbacks. -Vigilante justice. -Vigorous jazz hands. -Vikings. -Waiting 'til marriage. -Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot. -Walking in on Dad peeing into mom's mouth. -Weapons-grade plutonium. -Wearing an octopus for a hat. -Wearing glasses and sounding smart. -Western standards of beauty. -Wet dreams. -Whatever a McRib is made of. -What Jesus would do. -When you fart and a little bit comes out. -Whining like a little bitch. -Whipping a disobedient slave. -Whipping it out. -Whispering all sexy. -White-man scalps. -White people. -White privilege. -Wifely duties. -William Shatner. -Winking at old people. -Wiping her butt. -Women in yogurt commercials. -Women's suffrage. -Words, words, words. -World peace. -Yeast. -YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS. -Your weird brother. -Zeus's sexual appetites. -- cgit v1.2.3