From 9d7f0754ff9db1645635647f4acd63aa38c173c5 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Olivier Gayot Date: Mon, 8 Jun 2015 03:39:43 +0100 Subject: server: multilingual/french support moved the card files in a per-language directory as follows. * $LANG/cards/white * $LANG/cards/black Signed-off-by: Olivier Gayot --- lang/en/cards/black | 163 +++++++++++ lang/en/cards/white | 828 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 2 files changed, 991 insertions(+) create mode 100644 lang/en/cards/black create mode 100644 lang/en/cards/white (limited to 'lang/en/cards') diff --git a/lang/en/cards/black b/lang/en/cards/black new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9519bb7 --- /dev/null +++ b/lang/en/cards/black @@ -0,0 +1,163 @@ +2 AM in the city that never sleeps. The door swings open and walks in, legs up to here. Something in her eyes tells me she's looking for ______. +After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought _____ to the people of Haiti. +Alright, bros. Our frat house is condemned, and all the hot slampieces are over at Gamma Phi. The time has come to commence Operation _____. +Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of _____. +And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for _____! +And today's soup is Cream of _____. +And what did you bring for show and tell? +A recent laboratory study shows that undergraduates have 50% less sex after being exposed to _____. +A remarkable new study has shown that chimps have evolved their own primitive version of _____. +Armani suit: $1,000. Dinner for two at a swanky restaurant: $300. The look on her face when you surprise her with _____, priceless. +A romantic candlelit dinner would be incomplete without _____. +As king, how will I keep the peasant's in line? +As part of his contract, Prince won't perform without ______ in his dressing room. +As part of his daily regimen, Anderson Cooper sets aside 15 minutes for _____. +A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with _____. +_____. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice. +Before I run for president, I must destroy all evidence of my involvement with _____. +_____. Betcha can't have just one! +But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you _____. +Call the law offices of Goldstein & Goldstein, because no one should have to tolerate _____ in the workplace. +Charades was ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out _____. +Coming to Broadway this season, _____: The Musical. +Daddy, why is mommy crying? +Dear Abby, I'm having some trouble with _____ and would like your advice. +Dear Leader Kim Jong-un, our village praises your infinite wisdom with a humble offering of _____. +Do NOT fuck with me! I am literally _____ right now. +Don't forget! Beginning this week, Casual Friday will officially become "_____ Friday." +Do the Dew with our most extreme flavor yet! Get ready for Mountain Dew _____! +Do you lack energy? Does it sometimes feel like the whole world is _____? Zoloft. +During high school, I never really fit in until I found _____ club. +During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into _____. +During sex, I like to think about _____. +Finally! A service that delivers _____ right to your door. +Fun tip! When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with _____ instead. +Get ready for the movie of the summer! One cop plays by the book. The other's only interested in one thing: _____. +_____: good to the last drop. +Having the worst day EVER. #_____ +Help me doctor, I've got _____ in my butt! +Here at the Academy for Gifted Children, we allow students to explore _____ at their own pace. +Here is the church. Here is the steeple. Open the doors and there is _____. +Hey baby, come back to my place and I'll show you _____. +_____. High five, bro. +Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into _____, and I love to have a good time. +Hi, this Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled "_____." Can you explain? +How am I compensating for my tiny penis? +How am I maintaining my relationship status? +How did I lose my virginity? +I do not know with what weapons World War III will be be fought, but World War IV will be fought with _____. +I don't mean to brag, but they call me the Michael Jordan of _____. +I drink to forget _____. +I get by with a little help from _____. +I got 99 problems but _____ ain't one. +I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with _____. +I'm not like the rest of you, I'm too rich and busy for _____. +I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by _____. +I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of _____. +I'm sorry sir, but we don't allow _____ at the country club. +In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services? +In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of _____. +In his new action comedy, Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with _____. +In his newest and most difficult stunt, David Blaine must escape from _____. +In his new self-produced album, Kanye West raps over the sounds of _____. +In its new tourism campaign, Detroit proudly proclaims that it has finally eliminated _____. +In L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for _____. +In Rome, there are whisperings that the Vatican has a secret room devoted to _____. +Instead of coal, Santa now gives bad children _____. +In the distant future, historians will agree that _____ marked the beginning of America's decline. +In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with _____ for the first time. +In the seventh circle of Hell, sinners must endure _____ for all of eternity. +Introducing Xtreme Baseball! It's like baseball, but with ____! +It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from _____. +It's a pity that kids these days are all involved with _____. +____. It's a trap! +_____: kid-tested, mother-approved. +Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to _____. +Life's pretty tough in the fast lane. That's why I never leave the house without _____. +Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and _____. +Loving' you is easy 'cause you're _____. +Man, this is bullshit. Fuck _____. +Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's _____. +Members of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience _____. +Money can't buy me love, but it can buy me _____. +MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with _____. +My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of _____. +My gym teacher got fired for adding _____ to the obstacle course. +My new favorite porn star is Joey "_____" McGee. +My plan for world domination begins with _____. +Next from J.K Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of _____. +Next on ESPN2, the World Series of _____. +Next time on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about _____. +Now in bookstores: "The Audacity of _____," by Barack Obama +Only two things in life are certain: death and _____. +Science will never explain _____. +She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for _____. +_____. That's how I want to die. +The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in _____. +The CIA now interrogates enemy agents by repeatedly subjecting them to _____. +The class field trip was completely ruined by _____. +The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, _____, acceptance. +The healing process began when I joined a support group for victims of _____. +The Japanese have developed a smaller, more efficient version of _____. +The new Chevy Tahoe. With the power and space to take _____ everywhere you go. +The secret to a lasting marriage is communication, communication, and _____. +The Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has just opened an interactive exhibit on _____. +The socialist governments of Scandinavia have declared that access to _____ is a basic human right. +This is the prime of my life. I'm young, hot, and full of _____. +This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with _____. +This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for _____. +This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing _____ into the bedroom." +Today on Maury: "Help! My son is _____!" +Tonight on 20/20: What you don't know about _____ could kill you. +To prepare for his upcoming role, Daniel Day-Lewis immersed himself in the world of _____. +TSA guidelines now prohibit _____ on airplanes. +Turns out that _____-Man was neither the hero we needed nor wanted. +War! What is it good for? +Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principals office for _____. +Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precious child coming to terms with _____. +What am I giving up for Lent? +What are my parents hiding from me? +What brought the orgy to a grinding halt? +What did I bring back from mexico? +What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan? +What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner? +What don't you want to find in your Kung Pao chicken? +What ended my last relationship? +What gets better with age? +What gives me uncontrollable gas? +What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony? +What helps Obama unwind? +What is Batman's guilty pleasure? +What killed my boner? +What left this stain on my couch? +What never fails to liven up the party? +What's a girl's best friend? +What's fun until it gets weird? +What's George W. Bush thinking about right now? +What's making things awkward in the sauna? +What's my anti-drug? +What's my secret power? +What's Teach for America using to inspire inner city students to succeed? +What's that smell? +What's that sound? +What's the gift that keeps on giving? +What's the most emo? +What's the new fad diet? +What's the next happy meal toy? +What's there a ton of in heaven? +What will always get you laid? +What will I bring back in time to convince people that I am a powerful wizard? +What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? +When all else fails, I can always masturbate to _____. +When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate _____. +When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of _____. +When I pooped, what came out of my butt? +When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a Plague of _____. +White people like _____. +WHOOO! God Damn I love _____! +Why am I broke? +Why am I sticky? +Why can't I sleep at night? +Why do I hurt all over? +Yo' mama so fat she _____! +Your persistence is admirable, my dear Prince. But you cannot win my heart with _____ alone. diff --git a/lang/en/cards/white b/lang/en/cards/white new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1c15a42 --- /dev/null +++ b/lang/en/cards/white @@ -0,0 +1,828 @@ +10 Incredible Facts About the Anus. +24-hour media coverage. +40 acres and a mule. +50,000 volts straight to the nipples. +72 virgins. +8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin. +A 55-gallon drum of lube. +Aaron Burr. +A bag of magic beans. +A balanced breakfast. +A ball of earwax, semen, and toenail clippings. +A big black dick. +A bigger, blacker dick. +A bitch slap. +A black male in his early 20s, last seen wearing a hoodie. +A bleached asshole. +A bloody pacifier. +A boo-boo. +A Bop It. +A botched circumcision. +A brain tumor. +A bucket of fish heads. +A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans. +A Burmese tiger pit. +A can of whoop-ass. +A cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus. +A cooler full of organs. +A cop who is also a dog. +A crappy little hand. +A crazy little thing called love. +Active listening. +Actually getting shot, for real. +Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers. +A dance move that's just sex. +Adderall. +A defective condom. +A disappointing birthday party. +A disappointing salad. +A dollop of sour cream. +Advice from a wise, old black man. +A face full of horse cum. +A falcon with a cap on it's head. +A fart. +A fat bald man from the internet. +A fetus. +A Fleshlight. +A for-real lizard that spits blood from it's eyes. +A foul mouth. +Africa. +African children. +A gassy antelope. +A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry. +A gentle caress of the inner thigh. +A giant powdery manbaby. +A good sniff. +A greased up Matthew McConaughey. +Agriculture. +A homoerotic volleyball montage. +A hopeless amount of spiders. +A horse with no legs. +AIDS. +AIDS monkeys. +A kiss on the lips. +A lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint. +Alcoholism. +A lifetime of sadness. +A live studio audience. +All of my friends dying. +All of this blood. +All these decorative pillows. +All the single ladies. +All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99. +Almost giving money to a homeless person. +A low standard of living. +Altar boys. +A magic hippie love cloud. +A manhole. +A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings. +A man on the brink of orgasm. +A mating display. +Ambiguous sarcasm. +A micropenis. +A micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties. +A middle-aged man on roller skates. +A mime having a stroke. +A monkey smoking a cigar. +A mopey zoo lion. +A mouthful of potato salad. +Amputees. +A murder most foul. +Anal beads. +Anal fissures like you wouldn't believe. +An all-midget production of Shakespeare's Richard III. +An army of skeletons. +An ass disaster. +An asymmetric boob job. +A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world. +Ancient Athenian boy-fucking. +Andre the Giant's enormous, leathery scrotum. +An endless stream of diarrhea. +An erection that lasts longer than four hours. +An ether-soaked rag. +An Etsy steampunk strap-on. +An evil man in evil clothes. +Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night. +An icepick lobotomy. +An inability to form meaningful relationships. +An interracial handshake. +An M16 assault rifle. +An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist. +An Oedipus complex. +Another shot of morphine. +An oversized lollipop. +A nuanced critique. +An ugly face. +An unforgettable quinceanera. +An unhinged ferris wheel rolling towards the sea. +An uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation. +An unstoppable wave of fire ants. +A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana. +A passionate latino lover. +A pile of squirming bodies. +A pinata full of scorpions. +A plunger to the face. +A powered exoskeleton. +A PowerPoint presentation. +A pyramid of severed heads. +A Quesadilla Explosion Salad from Chili's. +A really cool hat. +A reason not to commit suicide. +A rival dojo. +Arnold Schwarzenegger. +A robust mongoloid. +A sad fat dragon with no friends. +A sad handjob. +A salty surprise. +A sassy black woman. +A sausage festival. +A sea of troubles. +A sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness. +A sex goblin with a carnival penis. +A shiny rock that proves I love you. +Asians who aren't good at math. +A slightly shittier parallel universe. +A smiling black man, a latina businesswoman, a cool Asian, and some whites. +A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis. +A sofa that says "I have style, but I like to be comfortable." +A soulful rendition of "Ol' Man River." +A spastic nerd. +A spontaneous conga line. +A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles. +Assless chaps. +Ass to mouth. +A stray pube. +A subscription to Men's fitness. +A Super Soaker full of cat pee. +A surprising amount of hair. +A sweaty, panting leather daddy. +A sweet spaceship. +A team of lawyers. +A thermonuclear detonation. +A time travel paradox. +A tiny horse. +A tribe of warrior women. +A Ugandan warlord. +Auschwitz. +Authentic Mexican cuisine. +Autocannibalism. +A vagina that leads to another dimension. +A web of lies. +A whole new kind of porn. +A windmill full of corpses. +AXE Body Spray. +A zero-risk way to make $2,000 from home. +A zesty breakfast burrito. +Backwards knees. +Balls. +Barack Obama. +Basic human decency. +BATMAN!!! +Battlefield amputations. +Beefin' over turf. +Bees? +Being a busy adult with many important things to do. +Being a dick to children. +Being a dinosaur. +Being a motherfucking sorcerer. +Being awesome at sex. +Being fabulous. +Being fat and stupid. +Being marginalized. +Being nine years old. +Being on fire. +Being paralyzed from the neck down. +Being rich. +Being worshipped as the one true God. +Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone. +Bill Nye the Science Guy. +Bingeing and purging. +Bio-engineered assault rifles with acid breath. +Bitches. +Blackface. +Black people. +Blackula. +Blood farts. +Blowing some dudes in an alley. +Blowjobs for everyone. +Boogers. +Boring vaginal sex. +Boris the Soviet Love Hammer. +Bosnian chicken farmers. +Bouncing up and down. +Breaking out into song and dance. +Brown people. +Bullshit. +Butt stuff. +Buying the right pants to be cool. +Calculating every mannerism so as to not suggest homosexuality. +Cards Against Humanity. +Carnies. +Catapults. +Catastrophic urethral trauma. +Centaurs. +Chainsaws for hands. +Changing a person's mind with logic and facts. +Cheating in the Special Olympics. +Child abuse. +Child beauty pageants. +Child Protective Services. +Children on leashes. +Child support payments. +Christopher Walken. +Chrystal meth. +Chugging a lava lamp. +Chunks of dead hitchhiker. +Civilian casualties. +Clams. +Classist undertones. +Clenched butt cheeks. +Coat hanger abortions. +Cock. +Committing mid-blowjob. +Concealing a boner. +Consensual sex. +Copping a feel. +Count Chocula. +Court-ordered rehab. +Crazy opium eyes. +Crippling debt. +Crucifixion. +Crumbs all over the god damn carpet. +Crushing Mr. Peanut's brittle body. +Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath. +Cuddling. +Cutting off a flamingo's legs with garden shears. +Cybernetic enhancements. +Daddy issues. +Daddy's credit card. +Daniel Radcliffe's delicious asshole. +Dark and mysterious forces beyond our control. +Darth Vador. +Dead babies. +Dead parents. +Death by Steven Seagal. +Deez nuts. +Deflowering the princess. +Demonic possession. +Dem titties. +Denzel. +Depression. +Destroying the evidence. +Dick Cheney. +Dick fingers. +Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of "Friends." +Disco fever. +Doing the right stuff to her nipples. +Doing the right thing. +Doin' it in the butt. +Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza. +Doo-doo. +Dorito breath. +Double penetration. +Drinking alone. +Drinking responsibly. +Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs to get fifty continuous hours of energy. +Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up. +Dry heaving. +Dying. +Dying alone and in pain. +Dying of dysentery. +Eating an albino. +Eating the last known bison. +Edible underpants. +Ejaculating live bees and bees are angry. +Elderly Japanese men. +Embryonic stem cells. +Emotions. +Ennui. +Enormous Scandinavian women. +Erectile dysfunction. +Estrogen. +Ethnic cleansing. +Eugenics. +Exactly what you'd expect. +Existing. +Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor. +Exploding pigeons. +Explosions. +Extremely tight pants. +Fabricating statistics. +Falling into the toilet. +Famine. +Fancy Feast. +Farting and walking away. +Fear itself. +Feeding Rosie O'Donnell. +Fetal alcohol syndrome. +Fiery poops. +Figgy pudding. +Figuring out how to have sex with a dolphin. +Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding. +Finally finishing off the Indians. +Finding Waldo. +Fingering. +Finger painting. +Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog. +Fisting. +Five-Dollar Footlongs. +Flesh-eating bacteria. +Flightless birds. +Flying robots that kill people. +Flying sex snakes. +Foreskin. +Former President George W. Bush. +Free ice cream, yo. +Free samples. +Friction. +Friendly fire. +Friends with benefits. +Frolicking. +Fucking a corpse back to life. +Fuck Mountain. +Full frontal nudity. +Funky fresh rhymes. +Gandalf. +Gandhi. +Gay aliens. +Geese. +Genetically engineered super-soldiers. +Genghis Khan. +Genghis Khan's DNA. +Genuine human connection. +George Clooney's musk. +German dungeon porn. +Getting abducted by Peter Pan. +Getting caught by the police and going to jail. +Getting drive-by shot. +Getting eaten alive by Guy Fieri. +Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group. +Getting in her pants, politely. +Getting married, having a few kids, buying some cool stuff, retiring to Florida, and dying. +Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon. +Getting really high. +Getting so angry that you pop a boner. +Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick. +Ghosts. +Giant sperm from outer space. +Girls that always be texting'. +Giving 110%. +Giving birth to the Antichrist. +Gladiatorial combat. +Gloryholes. +Goblins. +God. +Gogurt. +Going around punching people. +Going to a high school reunion on ketamine. +Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis. +Grandma. +Grandpa's ashes. +Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content. +Grave robbing. +Growing a pair. +Half-assed foreplay. +Harry Potter erotica. +Having anuses for eyes. +Having a penis. +Having been dead for a while. +Having sex on top of a pizza. +Having shotguns for legs. +Heartwarming orphans. +Helplessly giggling at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis. +Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II. +Heteronormativity. +Hillary Clinton's death stare. +Hip hop jewels. +Hipsters. +Historically black colleges. +Historical revisionism. +Holding down a child and farting all over him. +Homeless people. +Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine. +Hope. +Hormone injections. +Horrifying laser removal accidents. +Horse meat. +Hospice care. +Hot cheese. +Hot people. +Hot Pockets. +How awesome I am. +Hurricane Katrina. +Inappropriate yodeling. +Incest. +Indescribable loneliness. +Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other. +Insatiable bloodlust. +Inserting a mason jar into my anus. +Interspecies marriage. +Intimacy problems. +Invading Poland. +Italians. +Jafar. +Jean-Claude Van Damme in slow motion. +Jeff Goldblum. +Jerking off into a pool of children's tears. +Jewish fraternities. +Jizz. +Jobs. +Joe Biden. +John Wilkes Booth. +Judge Judy. +Jumping out at people. +Justin Bieber. +Just the tip. +Kamikaze pilots. +Kanye West. +Keanu Reeves. +Khakis. +Kids with ass cancer. +Lactation. +Lady Gaga. +Lance Armstrong's missing testicle. +Land mines. +Laying an egg. +Leprosy. +Letting everyone down. +Levelling up. +Licking things to claim them as your own. +Literally eating shit. +Living in a trashcan. +Lockjaw. +Loki, the trickster god. +Lots and lots of abortions. +Lumberjack fantasies. +Lunchables. +Mad hacky-sack skills. +Magnets. +Making a friend. +Making a pouty face. +Making the penises kiss. +Man meat. +Masturbation. +Maximal insertion. +Me. +MechaHitler. +Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament. +Men. +Menstrual rage. +Me time. +Michael Jackson. +Michelle Obama's arms. +Mild autism. +Miley Cyrus at 55. +Moderate to severe joint pain. +Mom. +Moms new boyfriend. +Mooing. +Moral ambiguity. +Morgan Freeman's voice. +Mouth herpes. +Mr. Clean, right behind you. +Mufasa's death scene. +Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him). +Multiple stab wounds. +Mutually-assured destruction. +My black ass. +My boyfriend's stupid penis. +My collection of high-tech sex toys. +My dad's dumb fucking face. +My dead son's baseball glove. +My first kill. +My first period. +My genitals. +My humps. +My inner demons. +My machete. +My manservant, Claude. +My relationship status. +My sex dungeon. +My sex life. +My soul. +My vagina. +My worthless son. +Natalie Portman. +Natural male enhancement. +Natural selection. +Nazis. +Necrophilia. +Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits. +Neil Patrick Harris. +New Age music. +Nickelback. +Nicolas Cage. +Nipple blades. +No clothes on, penis in vagina. +Not believing in giraffes. +Not contributing to society in any meaningful way. +Not giving a shit about the Third World. +Not having sex. +Nothing. +Not reciprocating oral sex. +Not wearing pants. +Nubile slave boys. +Nunchuck moves. +Object permanence. +Oil! +Old-people smell. +Oncoming traffic. +One Ring to rule them all. +One thousand Slim Jims. +One trillion dollars. +Oompa-Loompas. +Opposable thumbs. +Our first chimpanzee president. +Out-of-this-world bazongos. +Overcompensation. +Overpowering your father. +Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum. +Panda sex. +Party Mexicans. +Passive-aggressive Post-it notes. +Pedophiles. +Peeing a little bit. +Penis breath. +Penis envy. +P.F. Chang himself. +Pictures of boobs. +Pixelated bukkake. +Police brutality. +Pooping back and forth. Forever. +Poopy diapers. +Poor life choices. +Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes. +Poor people. +Power. +Powerful thighs. +Prancing. +Praying the gay away. +Preteens. +Pretending to care. +Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game. +Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa. +Puberty. +Public ridicule. +Pulling out. +Pumping out a baby every nine months. +Puppies! +Putting an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR. +Queefing. +Quiche. +Quivering jowls. +Racially-biased SAT questions. +Racism. +Raptor attacks. +Repression. +Republicans. +Revenge fucking. +Reverse cowgirl. +Riding off into the sunset. +Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart. +Rising from the grave. +Road head. +Robert Downey, Jr. +RoboCop. +Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king. +Ronald Reagan. +Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere. +Running out of semen. +Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body. +Russian super-tuberculosis. +Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse. +Same-sex ice dancing. +Samuel L. Jackson. +Sanding off a man's nose. +Santa Claus. +Sarah Palin. +Savagely beating a mascot. +Saxophone solos. +Saying "I love you." +Science. +Scientology. +Screaming like a maniac. +Scrotal frostbite. +Scrotum tickling. +Sean Connery. +Sean Penn. +Seeing grandma naked. +Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes. +Seeing things from Hitler's perspective. +Self-flagellation. +Self-loathing. +Seppuku. +September 11th, 2001. +Serfdom. +Sexual humiliation. +Sexual peeing. +Sexual Tension. +Sex with Patrick Stewart. +Sexy pillow fights. +Shaft. +Shapeshifters. +Shaquille O'Neal's acting career. +Sharks with legs. +Shiny objects. +Shutting the fuck up. +Silence. +Skeletor. +Slapping a racist old lady. +Slowly easing down onto a cucumber. +Smallpox blankets. +Smegma. +Smoking crack, for instance. +Sneezing, farting and coming at the same time. +Sniffing glue. +Snorting coke off a clown's boner +Social justice warriors with flamethrowers of compassion. +Some douche with an acoustic guitar. +Some god-damn peace and quiet. +Some kind of bird-man. +Some really fucked-up shit. +Some shit-hot guitar licks. +Some sort of Asian. +Soup that is too hot. +Special musical guest, Cher. +Spectacular abs. +Spending lots of money. +Sperm whales. +Spontaneous human combustion. +Sports. +Stalin. +Statistically validated stereotypes. +Stephen Hawking talking dirty. +Stockholm Syndrome. +Stuffing a child's face with Fun Dip until he starts having fun. +Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife. +Sudden Poop Explosion Disease. +Sugar madness. +Suicidal thoughts. +Sunshine and rainbows. +Surprise sex! +Sweet, sweet vengeance. +Swiftly achieving orgasm. +Switching to Geico. +Swooping. +Synergistic management solutions. +Syphilitic insanity. +Take-backsies. +Taking off your shirt. +Tasteful sideboob. +Teaching a robot to love. +Teenage pregnancy. +Tentacle porn. +Testicular torsion. +That ass. +The Abercrombie & Fitch lifestyle. +The American Dream. +The Amish. +The art of seduction. +The basic suffering that pervades all of existence. +The Big Bang. +The black half of Barack Obama. +The black Power Ranger. +The Blood of Christ. +The boners of the elderly. +The Boy Scouts of America. +The Care Bear Stare. +The Chinese gymnastics team. +The chronic. +The clitoris. +The complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East. +The cool, refreshing taste of Pepsi. +The day the birds attacked. +The Devil himself. +The economy. +The eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion. +The entire Internet. +The entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir. +The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter. +The female orgasm. +The folly of man. +The Force. +The four arms of Vishnu. +The gays. +The ghosts of Marlon Brando. +The glass ceiling. +The Great Depression. +The Gulags. +The Hamburglar. +The hardworking mexican. +The Harlem Globetrotters. +The harsh light of day. +The heart of a child. +The hiccups. +The Holy Bible. +The homosexual agenda. +The human body. +The Hustle. +The inevitable death of the universe. +The invisible hand. +The Jews. +The KKK. +The Kool-Aid Man. +The Land of Chocolate. +The light of a billion suns. +The Little Engine That Could. +The Make-A-Wish Foundation. +The mere concept of Applebees. +The milk man. +The miracle of childbirth. +The mixing of the races. +The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth. +The morbidly obese. +The new Radiohead album. +The ooze. +The passage of time. +The Patriarchy. +The peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China. +The penny whistle solo from "My Heart Will Go On." +The pirate's life. +The placenta. +The Pope. +The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now. +The profoundly handicapped. +The Rapture. +The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. +The rhythms of Africa. +The safe word. +The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction. +The shambling corpse of Larry King. +The size of my penis. +The South. +The swim team, all at once. +The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life. +The Tempur-Pedic Swedish Sleep System. +The terrorists. +The thin veneer of situational casualty that underlies porn. +The Three-Fifths compromise. +The tiger that killed my father. +The tiniest shred of evidence that God is real. +The token minority. +The Trail of Tears. +The true meaning of Christmas. +The Ubermensch. +The unbelievable world of mushrooms. +The Underground Railroad. +The violation of our basic human rights. +The way white people is. +The white half of Barack Obama. +The wonders of the Orient. +The World of Warcraft. +The wrath of Vladimir Putin. +Third base. +This year's mass shooting. +Three consecutive seconds of happiness. +Three dicks at the same time. +Three months in the hole. +Throwing a virgin into a volcano. +Tiny nipples. +Tom Cruise. +Tongue. +Toni Morrison's vagina. +Too much cocaine. +Tripping balls. +Two midgets shitting into a bucket. +Unfathomable stupidity. +Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks. +Unquestioning obedience. +Unrelenting genital punishment. +Used panties. +Vegetarian options. +Vehicular manslaughter. +Velcro. +Viagra. +Vietnam flashbacks. +Vigilante justice. +Vigorous jazz hands. +Vikings. +Waiting 'til marriage. +Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot. +Walking in on Dad peeing into mom's mouth. +Weapons-grade plutonium. +Wearing an octopus for a hat. +Wearing glasses and sounding smart. +Western standards of beauty. +Wet dreams. +Whatever a McRib is made of. +What Jesus would do. +When you fart and a little bit comes out. +Whining like a little bitch. +Whipping a disobedient slave. +Whipping it out. +Whispering all sexy. +White-man scalps. +White people. +White privilege. +Wifely duties. +William Shatner. +Winking at old people. +Wiping her butt. +Women in yogurt commercials. +Women's suffrage. +Words, words, words. +World peace. +Yeast. +YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS. +Your weird brother. +Zeus's sexual appetites. -- cgit v1.2.3