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-[
- "10 Incredible Facts About the Anus.",
- "24-hour media coverage.",
- "40 acres and a mule.",
- "50,000 volts straight to the nipples.",
- "72 virgins.",
- "8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.",
- "A 55-gallon drum of lube.",
- "Aaron Burr.",
- "A bag of magic beans.",
- "A balanced breakfast.",
- "A ball of earwax, semen, and toenail clippings.",
- "A big black dick.",
- "A bigger, blacker dick.",
- "A bitch slap.",
- "A black male in his early 20s, last seen wearing a hoodie.",
- "A bleached asshole.",
- "A bloody pacifier.",
- "A boo-boo.",
- "A Bop It.",
- "A botched circumcision.",
- "A brain tumor.",
- "A bucket of fish heads.",
- "A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans.",
- "A Burmese tiger pit.",
- "A can of whoop-ass.",
- "A cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus.",
- "A cooler full of organs.",
- "A cop who is also a dog.",
- "A crappy little hand.",
- "A crazy little thing called love.",
- "Active listening.",
- "Actually getting shot, for real.",
- "Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers.",
- "A dance move that's just sex.",
- "Adderall.",
- "A defective condom.",
- "A disappointing birthday party.",
- "A disappointing salad.",
- "A dollop of sour cream.",
- "Advice from a wise, old black man.",
- "A face full of horse cum.",
- "A falcon with a cap on it's head.",
- "A fart.",
- "A fat bald man from the internet.",
- "A fetus.",
- "A Fleshlight.",
- "A for-real lizard that spits blood from it's eyes.",
- "A foul mouth.",
- "Africa.",
- "African children.",
- "A gassy antelope.",
- "A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry.",
- "A gentle caress of the inner thigh.",
- "A giant powdery manbaby.",
- "A good sniff.",
- "A greased up Matthew McConaughey.",
- "Agriculture.",
- "A homoerotic volleyball montage.",
- "A hopeless amount of spiders.",
- "A horse with no legs.",
- "AIDS.",
- "AIDS monkeys.",
- "A kiss on the lips.",
- "A lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint.",
- "Alcoholism.",
- "A lifetime of sadness.",
- "A live studio audience.",
- "All of my friends dying.",
- "All of this blood.",
- "All these decorative pillows.",
- "All the single ladies.",
- "All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99.",
- "Almost giving money to a homeless person.",
- "A low standard of living.",
- "Altar boys.",
- "A magic hippie love cloud.",
- "A manhole.",
- "A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings.",
- "A man on the brink of orgasm.",
- "A mating display.",
- "Ambiguous sarcasm.",
- "A micropenis.",
- "A micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties.",
- "A middle-aged man on roller skates.",
- "A mime having a stroke.",
- "A monkey smoking a cigar.",
- "A mopey zoo lion.",
- "A mouthful of potato salad.",
- "Amputees.",
- "A murder most foul.",
- "Anal beads.",
- "Anal fissures like you wouldn't believe.",
- "An all-midget production of Shakespeare's Richard III.",
- "An army of skeletons.",
- "An ass disaster.",
- "An asymmetric boob job.",
- "A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world.",
- "Ancient Athenian boy-fucking.",
- "Andre the Giant's enormous, leathery scrotum.",
- "An endless stream of diarrhea.",
- "An erection that lasts longer than four hours.",
- "An ether-soaked rag.",
- "An Etsy steampunk strap-on.",
- "An evil man in evil clothes.",
- "Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night.",
- "An icepick lobotomy.",
- "An inability to form meaningful relationships.",
- "An interracial handshake.",
- "An M16 assault rifle.",
- "An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist.",
- "An Oedipus complex.",
- "Another shot of morphine.",
- "An oversized lollipop.",
- "A nuanced critique.",
- "An ugly face.",
- "An unforgettable quinceanera.",
- "An unhinged ferris wheel rolling towards the sea.",
- "An uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation.",
- "An unstoppable wave of fire ants.",
- "A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana.",
- "A passionate latino lover.",
- "A pile of squirming bodies.",
- "A pinata full of scorpions.",
- "A plunger to the face.",
- "A powered exoskeleton.",
- "A PowerPoint presentation.",
- "A pyramid of severed heads.",
- "A Quesadilla Explosion Salad from Chili's.",
- "A really cool hat.",
- "A reason not to commit suicide.",
- "A rival dojo.",
- "Arnold Schwarzenegger.",
- "A robust mongoloid.",
- "A sad fat dragon with no friends.",
- "A sad handjob.",
- "A salty surprise.",
- "A sassy black woman.",
- "A sausage festival.",
- "A sea of troubles.",
- "A sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness.",
- "A sex goblin with a carnival penis.",
- "A shiny rock that proves I love you.",
- "Asians who aren't good at math.",
- "A slightly shittier parallel universe.",
- "A smiling black man, a latina businesswoman, a cool Asian, and some whites.",
- "A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis.",
- "A sofa that says "I have style, but I like to be comfortable."",
- "A soulful rendition of "Ol' Man River."",
- "A spastic nerd.",
- "A spontaneous conga line.",
- "A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.",
- "Assless chaps.",
- "Ass to mouth.",
- "A stray pube.",
- "A subscription to Men's fitness.",
- "A Super Soaker full of cat pee.",
- "A surprising amount of hair.",
- "A sweaty, panting leather daddy.",
- "A sweet spaceship.",
- "A team of lawyers.",
- "A thermonuclear detonation.",
- "A time travel paradox.",
- "A tiny horse.",
- "A tribe of warrior women.",
- "A Ugandan warlord.",
- "Auschwitz.",
- "Authentic Mexican cuisine.",
- "Autocannibalism.",
- "A vagina that leads to another dimension.",
- "A web of lies.",
- "A whole new kind of porn.",
- "A windmill full of corpses.",
- "AXE Body Spray.",
- "A zero-risk way to make $2,000 from home.",
- "A zesty breakfast burrito.",
- "Backwards knees.",
- "Balls.",
- "Barack Obama.",
- "Basic human decency.",
- "BATMAN!!!",
- "Battlefield amputations.",
- "Beefin' over turf.",
- "Bees?",
- "Being a busy adult with many important things to do.",
- "Being a dick to children.",
- "Being a dinosaur.",
- "Being a motherfucking sorcerer.",
- "Being awesome at sex.",
- "Being fabulous.",
- "Being fat and stupid.",
- "Being marginalized.",
- "Being nine years old.",
- "Being on fire.",
- "Being paralyzed from the neck down.",
- "Being rich.",
- "Being worshipped as the one true God.",
- "Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone.",
- "Bill Nye the Science Guy.",
- "Bingeing and purging.",
- "Bio-engineered assault rifles with acid breath.",
- "Bitches.",
- "Blackface.",
- "Black people.",
- "Blackula.",
- "Blood farts.",
- "Blowing some dudes in an alley.",
- "Blowjobs for everyone.",
- "Boogers.",
- "Boring vaginal sex.",
- "Boris the Soviet Love Hammer.",
- "Bosnian chicken farmers.",
- "Bouncing up and down.",
- "Breaking out into song and dance.",
- "Brown people.",
- "Bullshit.",
- "Butt stuff.",
- "Buying the right pants to be cool.",
- "Calculating every mannerism so as to not suggest homosexuality.",
- "Cards Against Humanity.",
- "Carnies.",
- "Catapults.",
- "Catastrophic urethral trauma.",
- "Centaurs.",
- "Chainsaws for hands.",
- "Changing a person's mind with logic and facts.",
- "Cheating in the Special Olympics.",
- "Child abuse.",
- "Child beauty pageants.",
- "Child Protective Services.",
- "Children on leashes.",
- "Child support payments.",
- "Christopher Walken.",
- "Chrystal meth.",
- "Chugging a lava lamp.",
- "Chunks of dead hitchhiker.",
- "Civilian casualties.",
- "Clams.",
- "Classist undertones.",
- "Clenched butt cheeks.",
- "Coat hanger abortions.",
- "Cock.",
- "Committing mid-blowjob.",
- "Concealing a boner.",
- "Consensual sex.",
- "Copping a feel.",
- "Count Chocula.",
- "Court-ordered rehab.",
- "Crazy opium eyes.",
- "Crippling debt.",
- "Crucifixion.",
- "Crumbs all over the god damn carpet.",
- "Crushing Mr. Peanut's brittle body.",
- "Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath.",
- "Cuddling.",
- "Cutting off a flamingo's legs with garden shears.",
- "Cybernetic enhancements.",
- "Daddy issues.",
- "Daddy's credit card.",
- "Daniel Radcliffe's delicious asshole.",
- "Dark and mysterious forces beyond our control.",
- "Darth Vader.",
- "Dead babies.",
- "Dead parents.",
- "Death by Steven Seagal.",
- "Deez nuts.",
- "Deflowering the princess.",
- "Demonic possession.",
- "Dem titties.",
- "Denzel.",
- "Depression.",
- "Destroying the evidence.",
- "Dick Cheney.",
- "Dick fingers.",
- "Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of "Friends."",
- "Disco fever.",
- "Doing the right stuff to her nipples.",
- "Doing the right thing.",
- "Doin' it in the butt.",
- "Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza.",
- "Doo-doo.",
- "Dorito breath.",
- "Double penetration.",
- "Drinking alone.",
- "Drinking responsibly.",
- "Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs to get fifty continuous hours of energy.",
- "Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up.",
- "Dry heaving.",
- "Dying.",
- "Dying alone and in pain.",
- "Dying of dysentery.",
- "Eating an albino.",
- "Eating the last known bison.",
- "Edible underpants.",
- "Ejaculating live bees and bees are angry.",
- "Elderly Japanese men.",
- "Embryonic stem cells.",
- "Emotions.",
- "Ennui.",
- "Enormous Scandinavian women.",
- "Erectile dysfunction.",
- "Estrogen.",
- "Ethnic cleansing.",
- "Eugenics.",
- "Exactly what you'd expect.",
- "Existing.",
- "Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.",
- "Exploding pigeons.",
- "Explosions.",
- "Extremely tight pants.",
- "Fabricating statistics.",
- "Falling into the toilet.",
- "Famine.",
- "Fancy Feast.",
- "Farting and walking away.",
- "Fear itself.",
- "Feeding Rosie O'Donnell.",
- "Fetal alcohol syndrome.",
- "Fiery poops.",
- "Figgy pudding.",
- "Figuring out how to have sex with a dolphin.",
- "Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding.",
- "Finally finishing off the Indians.",
- "Finding Waldo.",
- "Fingering.",
- "Finger painting.",
- "Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog.",
- "Fisting.",
- "Five-Dollar Footlongs.",
- "Flesh-eating bacteria.",
- "Flightless birds.",
- "Flying robots that kill people.",
- "Flying sex snakes.",
- "Foreskin.",
- "Former President George W. Bush.",
- "Free ice cream, yo.",
- "Free samples.",
- "Friction.",
- "Friendly fire.",
- "Friends with benefits.",
- "Frolicking.",
- "Fucking a corpse back to life.",
- "Fuck Mountain.",
- "Full frontal nudity.",
- "Funky fresh rhymes.",
- "Gandalf.",
- "Gandhi.",
- "Gay aliens.",
- "Geese.",
- "Genetically engineered super-soldiers.",
- "Genghis Khan.",
- "Genghis Khan's DNA.",
- "Genuine human connection.",
- "George Clooney's musk.",
- "German dungeon porn.",
- "Getting abducted by Peter Pan.",
- "Getting caught by the police and going to jail.",
- "Getting drive-by shot.",
- "Getting eaten alive by Guy Fieri.",
- "Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group.",
- "Getting in her pants, politely.",
- "Getting married, having a few kids, buying some cool stuff, retiring to Florida, and dying.",
- "Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon.",
- "Getting really high.",
- "Getting so angry that you pop a boner.",
- "Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick.",
- "Ghosts.",
- "Giant sperm from outer space.",
- "Girls that always be texting'.",
- "Giving 110%.",
- "Giving birth to the Antichrist.",
- "Gladiatorial combat.",
- "Gloryholes.",
- "Goblins.",
- "God.",
- "Gogurt.",
- "Going around punching people.",
- "Going to a high school reunion on ketamine.",
- "Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis.",
- "Grandma.",
- "Grandpa's ashes.",
- "Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.",
- "Grave robbing.",
- "Growing a pair.",
- "Half-assed foreplay.",
- "Harry Potter erotica.",
- "Having anuses for eyes.",
- "Having a penis.",
- "Having been dead for a while.",
- "Having sex on top of a pizza.",
- "Having shotguns for legs.",
- "Heartwarming orphans.",
- "Helplessly giggling at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis.",
- "Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.",
- "Heteronormativity.",
- "Hillary Clinton's death stare.",
- "Hip hop jewels.",
- "Hipsters.",
- "Historically black colleges.",
- "Historical revisionism.",
- "Holding down a child and farting all over him.",
- "Homeless people.",
- "Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine.",
- "Hope.",
- "Hormone injections.",
- "Horrifying laser removal accidents.",
- "Horse meat.",
- "Hospice care.",
- "Hot cheese.",
- "Hot people.",
- "Hot Pockets.",
- "How awesome I am.",
- "Hurricane Katrina.",
- "Inappropriate yodeling.",
- "Incest.",
- "Indescribable loneliness.",
- "Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other.",
- "Insatiable bloodlust.",
- "Inserting a mason jar into my anus.",
- "Interspecies marriage.",
- "Intimacy problems.",
- "Invading Poland.",
- "Italians.",
- "Jafar.",
- "Jean-Claude Van Damme in slow motion.",
- "Jeff Goldblum.",
- "Jerking off into a pool of children's tears.",
- "Jewish fraternities.",
- "Jizz.",
- "Jobs.",
- "Joe Biden.",
- "John Wilkes Booth.",
- "Judge Judy.",
- "Jumping out at people.",
- "Justin Bieber.",
- "Just the tip.",
- "Kamikaze pilots.",
- "Kanye West.",
- "Keanu Reeves.",
- "Khakis.",
- "Kids with ass cancer.",
- "Lactation.",
- "Lady Gaga.",
- "Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.",
- "Land mines.",
- "Laying an egg.",
- "Leprosy.",
- "Letting everyone down.",
- "Levelling up.",
- "Licking things to claim them as your own.",
- "Literally eating shit.",
- "Living in a trashcan.",
- "Lockjaw.",
- "Loki, the trickster god.",
- "Lots and lots of abortions.",
- "Lumberjack fantasies.",
- "Lunchables.",
- "Mad hacky-sack skills.",
- "Magnets.",
- "Making a friend.",
- "Making a pouty face.",
- "Making the penises kiss.",
- "Man meat.",
- "Masturbation.",
- "Maximal insertion.",
- "Me.",
- "MechaHitler.",
- "Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament.",
- "Men.",
- "Menstrual rage.",
- "Me time.",
- "Michael Jackson.",
- "Michelle Obama's arms.",
- "Mild autism.",
- "Miley Cyrus at 55.",
- "Moderate to severe joint pain.",
- "Mom.",
- "Moms new boyfriend.",
- "Mooing.",
- "Moral ambiguity.",
- "Morgan Freeman's voice.",
- "Mouth herpes.",
- "Mr. Clean, right behind you.",
- "Mufasa's death scene.",
- "Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him).",
- "Multiple stab wounds.",
- "Mutually-assured destruction.",
- "My black ass.",
- "My boyfriend's stupid penis.",
- "My collection of high-tech sex toys.",
- "My dad's dumb fucking face.",
- "My dead son's baseball glove.",
- "My first kill.",
- "My first period.",
- "My genitals.",
- "My humps.",
- "My inner demons.",
- "My machete.",
- "My manservant, Claude.",
- "My relationship status.",
- "My sex dungeon.",
- "My sex life.",
- "My soul.",
- "My vagina.",
- "My worthless son.",
- "Natalie Portman.",
- "Natural male enhancement.",
- "Natural selection.",
- "Nazis.",
- "Necrophilia.",
- "Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits.",
- "Neil Patrick Harris.",
- "New Age music.",
- "Nickelback.",
- "Nicolas Cage.",
- "Nipple blades.",
- "No clothes on, penis in vagina.",
- "Not believing in giraffes.",
- "Not contributing to society in any meaningful way.",
- "Not giving a shit about the Third World.",
- "Not having sex.",
- "Nothing.",
- "Not reciprocating oral sex.",
- "Not wearing pants.",
- "Nubile slave boys.",
- "Nunchuck moves.",
- "Object permanence.",
- "Oil!",
- "Old-people smell.",
- "Oncoming traffic.",
- "One Ring to rule them all.",
- "One thousand Slim Jims.",
- "One trillion dollars.",
- "Oompa-Loompas.",
- "Opposable thumbs.",
- "Our first chimpanzee president.",
- "Out-of-this-world bazongos.",
- "Overcompensation.",
- "Overpowering your father.",
- "Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.",
- "Panda sex.",
- "Party Mexicans.",
- "Passive-aggressive Post-it notes.",
- "Pedophiles.",
- "Peeing a little bit.",
- "Penis breath.",
- "Penis envy.",
- "P.F. Chang himself.",
- "Pictures of boobs.",
- "Pixelated bukkake.",
- "Police brutality.",
- "Pooping back and forth. Forever.",
- "Poopy diapers.",
- "Poor life choices.",
- "Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes.",
- "Poor people.",
- "Power.",
- "Powerful thighs.",
- "Prancing.",
- "Praying the gay away.",
- "Preteens.",
- "Pretending to care.",
- "Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game.",
- "Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa.",
- "Puberty.",
- "Public ridicule.",
- "Pulling out.",
- "Pumping out a baby every nine months.",
- "Puppies!",
- "Putting an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR.",
- "Queefing.",
- "Quiche.",
- "Quivering jowls.",
- "Racially-biased SAT questions.",
- "Racism.",
- "Raptor attacks.",
- "Repression.",
- "Republicans.",
- "Revenge fucking.",
- "Reverse cowgirl.",
- "Riding off into the sunset.",
- "Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart.",
- "Rising from the grave.",
- "Road head.",
- "Robert Downey, Jr.",
- "RoboCop.",
- "Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king.",
- "Ronald Reagan.",
- "Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere.",
- "Running out of semen.",
- "Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body.",
- "Russian super-tuberculosis.",
- "Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse.",
- "Same-sex ice dancing.",
- "Samuel L. Jackson.",
- "Sanding off a man's nose.",
- "Santa Claus.",
- "Sarah Palin.",
- "Savagely beating a mascot.",
- "Saxophone solos.",
- "Saying "I love you."",
- "Science.",
- "Scientology.",
- "Screaming like a maniac.",
- "Scrotal frostbite.",
- "Scrotum tickling.",
- "Sean Connery.",
- "Sean Penn.",
- "Seeing grandma naked.",
- "Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes.",
- "Seeing things from Hitler's perspective.",
- "Self-flagellation.",
- "Self-loathing.",
- "Seppuku.",
- "September 11th, 2001.",
- "Serfdom.",
- "Sexual humiliation.",
- "Sexual peeing.",
- "Sexual Tension.",
- "Sex with Patrick Stewart.",
- "Sexy pillow fights.",
- "Shaft.",
- "Shapeshifters.",
- "Shaquille O'Neal's acting career.",
- "Sharks with legs.",
- "Shiny objects.",
- "Shutting the fuck up.",
- "Silence.",
- "Skeletor.",
- "Slapping a racist old lady.",
- "Slowly easing down onto a cucumber.",
- "Smallpox blankets.",
- "Smegma.",
- "Smoking crack, for instance.",
- "Sneezing, farting and coming at the same time.",
- "Sniffing glue.",
- "Snorting coke off a clown's boner",
- "Social justice warriors with flamethrowers of compassion.",
- "Some douche with an acoustic guitar.",
- "Some god-damn peace and quiet.",
- "Some kind of bird-man.",
- "Some really fucked-up shit.",
- "Some shit-hot guitar licks.",
- "Some sort of Asian.",
- "Soup that is too hot.",
- "Special musical guest, Cher.",
- "Spectacular abs.",
- "Spending lots of money.",
- "Sperm whales.",
- "Spontaneous human combustion.",
- "Sports.",
- "Stalin.",
- "Statistically validated stereotypes.",
- "Stephen Hawking talking dirty.",
- "Stockholm Syndrome.",
- "Stuffing a child's face with Fun Dip until he starts having fun.",
- "Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.",
- "Sudden Poop Explosion Disease.",
- "Sugar madness.",
- "Suicidal thoughts.",
- "Sunshine and rainbows.",
- "Surprise sex!",
- "Sweet, sweet vengeance.",
- "Swiftly achieving orgasm.",
- "Switching to Geico.",
- "Swooping.",
- "Synergistic management solutions.",
- "Syphilitic insanity.",
- "Take-backsies.",
- "Taking off your shirt.",
- "Tasteful sideboob.",
- "Teaching a robot to love.",
- "Teenage pregnancy.",
- "Tentacle porn.",
- "Testicular torsion.",
- "That ass.",
- "The Abercrombie & Fitch lifestyle.",
- "The American Dream.",
- "The Amish.",
- "The art of seduction.",
- "The basic suffering that pervades all of existence.",
- "The Big Bang.",
- "The black half of Barack Obama.",
- "The black Power Ranger.",
- "The Blood of Christ.",
- "The boners of the elderly.",
- "The Boy Scouts of America.",
- "The Care Bear Stare.",
- "The Chinese gymnastics team.",
- "The chronic.",
- "The clitoris.",
- "The complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East.",
- "The cool, refreshing taste of Pepsi.",
- "The day the birds attacked.",
- "The Devil himself.",
- "The economy.",
- "The eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion.",
- "The entire Internet.",
- "The entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir.",
- "The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter.",
- "The female orgasm.",
- "The folly of man.",
- "The Force.",
- "The four arms of Vishnu.",
- "The gays.",
- "The ghosts of Marlon Brando.",
- "The glass ceiling.",
- "The Great Depression.",
- "The Gulags.",
- "The Hamburglar.",
- "The hardworking mexican.",
- "The Harlem Globetrotters.",
- "The harsh light of day.",
- "The heart of a child.",
- "The hiccups.",
- "The Holy Bible.",
- "The homosexual agenda.",
- "The human body.",
- "The Hustle.",
- "The inevitable death of the universe.",
- "The invisible hand.",
- "The Jews.",
- "The KKK.",
- "The Kool-Aid Man.",
- "The Land of Chocolate.",
- "The light of a billion suns.",
- "The Little Engine That Could.",
- "The Make-A-Wish Foundation.",
- "The mere concept of Applebees.",
- "The milk man.",
- "The miracle of childbirth.",
- "The mixing of the races.",
- "The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth.",
- "The morbidly obese.",
- "The new Radiohead album.",
- "The ooze.",
- "The passage of time.",
- "The Patriarchy.",
- "The peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China.",
- "The penny whistle solo from "My Heart Will Go On."",
- "The pirate's life.",
- "The placenta.",
- "The Pope.",
- "The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now.",
- "The profoundly handicapped.",
- "The Rapture.",
- "The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.",
- "The rhythms of Africa.",
- "The safe word.",
- "The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction.",
- "The shambling corpse of Larry King.",
- "The size of my penis.",
- "The South.",
- "The swim team, all at once.",
- "The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life.",
- "The Tempur-Pedic Swedish Sleep System.",
- "The terrorists.",
- "The thin veneer of situational casualty that underlies porn.",
- "The Three-Fifths compromise.",
- "The tiger that killed my father.",
- "The tiniest shred of evidence that God is real.",
- "The token minority.",
- "The Trail of Tears.",
- "The true meaning of Christmas.",
- "The Ubermensch.",
- "The unbelievable world of mushrooms.",
- "The Underground Railroad.",
- "The violation of our basic human rights.",
- "The way white people is.",
- "The white half of Barack Obama.",
- "The wonders of the Orient.",
- "The World of Warcraft.",
- "The wrath of Vladimir Putin.",
- "Third base.",
- "This year's mass shooting.",
- "Three consecutive seconds of happiness.",
- "Three dicks at the same time.",
- "Three months in the hole.",
- "Throwing a virgin into a volcano.",
- "Tiny nipples.",
- "Tom Cruise.",
- "Tongue.",
- "Toni Morrison's vagina.",
- "Too much cocaine.",
- "Tripping balls.",
- "Two midgets shitting into a bucket.",
- "Unfathomable stupidity.",
- "Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks.",
- "Unquestioning obedience.",
- "Unrelenting genital punishment.",
- "Used panties.",
- "Vegetarian options.",
- "Vehicular manslaughter.",
- "Velcro.",
- "Viagra.",
- "Vietnam flashbacks.",
- "Vigilante justice.",
- "Vigorous jazz hands.",
- "Vikings.",
- "Waiting 'til marriage.",
- "Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.",
- "Walking in on Dad peeing into mom's mouth.",
- "Weapons-grade plutonium.",
- "Wearing an octopus for a hat.",
- "Wearing glasses and sounding smart.",
- "Western standards of beauty.",
- "Wet dreams.",
- "Whatever a McRib is made of.",
- "What Jesus would do.",
- "When you fart and a little bit comes out.",
- "Whining like a little bitch.",
- "Whipping a disobedient slave.",
- "Whipping it out.",
- "Whispering all sexy.",
- "White-man scalps.",
- "White people.",
- "White privilege.",
- "Wifely duties.",
- "William Shatner.",
- "Winking at old people.",
- "Wiping her butt.",
- "Women in yogurt commercials.",
- "Women's suffrage.",
- "Words, words, words.",
- "World peace.",
- "Yeast.",
- "YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.",
- "Your weird brother.",
- "Zeus's sexual appetites."
-]